First of all, well done on this. I love that line about how, as a parent, you don't really compare your child but your ability to raise a child...I so relate to that and it gave me good chills.
Secondly, I have so much compassion for your situation. I'm a single dad with a teenage daughter, so from a parent's perspective...but also from the perspective of how there is little awareness about what Autism is or what to expect, etc.
An amazing book, and maybe you've read it, is "Far From The Tree". The author who's name slips my mind, took about 10 years on a quest to understand a variety of "abnormal" situations kids are born with and parents are surprised with. It helped me develop more educated awareness to many things ranging from Autism to Deaf to many others that...unfortunately...society has often called "disorders".
Yes, they are not the "norm", but they are the "norm" for that person.
But I like the idea of some sort of way to signal to other parents... because it seems it would help you feel more empowered and open... I can see how it would be awkward to verbally say "sorry, he has autism and let me explain that to you"
An educated person would immediately identify this situation and not be irritated or judgy...but that's a lot to expect of the masses :)
Regardless, I'm sending you and your family light and love today as you work to solve the complexities surrounding these challenges.
And I'd love to discuss at some point, some research I've done on Autism as it relates to inflammation and "grounding" oneself to the earth. A recent study I read saw significant improvement in autistic behaviors of individuals in a variety of ages, simply consistently going barefoot on the earth (meaning dirt/grass/etc...making a "grounded" connection). I personally "ground" and have eradicated severe allergies I used to have here in the South...manage pain with it...and have improved my overall "stress" mental health. Scientifically speaking, grounding yourself to the earth eliminates inflammation in the body within about 30 min to 2 hours. I now actually sleep on a sheet that's made of silver thread in a "grid" and grounded to the earth and sleep issues I used to have are gone.
Anyway, I'm sure as a parent of an Autistic child you've heard all the latest and greatest "hope" that leaves you feeling more defeated or like you HAVE to cure this, rather than embrace your child for who he is.
So please know, I'm not suggesting any sort of "change" but rather that it has shown to improve behaviors and make some of the harder to handle things easier to manage.
Would love to chat more and hear your thoughts also!
Namaste :)