You write wonderfully and with great perception, no doubt from hard won experience, about a subject that most people either don't want to know about or don't care about. That is, the life of someone who has to deal with autism everyday. I will never understand truly what that life is like because I'm only on the extreme outer edges, I have friends and family who have autistic children. I see the daily battles they have to face and see how society usually only allows them to be one of two things. When the observer doesn't know the child has autism then they are the bad-parent, allowing behaviours that are at odds with what is considered "good behaviour". If the observer knows the child is autistic then they invariably see the martyr-parent. Often they'll remark on how great they are to be dealing with the behaviours of the child everyday. The reality, from what I've seen, is that most of the time the parents are just being what they are and that is, parents! The same as any other parent! They'll have good days and bad days. Days they love being a parent and days they hate being a parent. It is true that there are a lot more difficulties and stress to being a parent of a child with autism but there are also highs that they say they've never encountered with their non autistic children. I just wanted to say thanks for being honest and helping me to expand my knowledge. :)
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You are very welcome. It remains a highly complex subject. After many (far more nuanced) technical investigations into autism, I am a little tired of the "subject" myself, having to mainly just get on with it every day (son, father, sister). There is a lot of cliché nonsense about autism which is told to both the person with autism themselves and those who take care of them or counsel/support them. This becomes very problematic when it prooves to be counter-productive. Our understanding of autism must come from a different place than where it is coming currently. All I can try to do, for now, is keep pushing the boundaries with personal experience, and proposing what it most certainly is not.
With regard to the subequent disagreement that unfolded in response to my emotion, it was a bit ironic that I never much addressed autism as a parent - being first and foremost a daughter and a sister (and ex-partner) in realtion to autism. Having a child with the same dysfunction was actually my opportunity to put into practice what I know works and avoid what I know cannot. I had a head start to most parents around me, which was sorely misunderstood (I managed too well! which dug my own "grave" with regards to appropriate resources for my son, who is remarkably well adjusted. A tiny pat for mummy, then...).
Again, thank you very much for your insightful contribution.
More than a 'pat', if you have raised a son, well adjusted or not! :). I think it's only through speaking about autism and the realities of it that we can come to a better understanding of it. Like I said I know next to nothing about it but I'm glad I got to read about your experiences. :)