I feel sometimes the way you do.. I was positive for a while but life came crashing down and it can be very hard loads of days when you see how the people that run everything are either sociopaths or psychopaths, and what makes it even worse is how many people look up to them as an example of what to be.
The best thing I found to do is just work on yourself. It's really the only thing you can do that can make a change to who you are.