I gotta be honest, Cyclops don't play challenges. Usually. Unless said challenge involves drinking beer. That, I can do. I really can't be arsed to look up the "contest rules" or what not, but sure I can drink some beer :)
So this all started when one of those flabby pink flesh sacks with too many eyeballs came by my cave with marshmallows to roast over my fire. I have to admit, I was taken aback. This is the second time in recent memory one of those two eyed blasphemies has actually been nice to ole' clops. @rubencress you are a Prince among flesh-sacks. You didn't once steal one of my magical artifacts and in fact you brought a nice selection of beer with you as well as marshmallows. Curious that a two-eyes from the Netherlands made a detour through the Pacific NW coast of the USA to pick up beer on the way to my mist-shrouded island somewhere in the Mediterranean Sea, but hey mine is not to wonder why. Mine is just to eat humans and drink beer. Although I did let this human walk out of my cave alive. I may be slipping in my dotage, but he was just the nicest cave-guest.
Okay enough of this blather. On to the challenge! Before he left, Monsieur Le Nicest-Human challenged me to drink the damn beers he brought and post about it here.
Alameda Black Bear XX Stout
7.0% Alcohol by Volume | 22 Oz. / 650 ml. Bottle
Alameda Brewing Company
4675 NE Fremont, Portland, OR 97213
A very dark stout, slightly on the bitter side and with a little more molasses up front in the taste than is my preference in a stout. I like more of a smokey stout, or a smoother, creamier, more oatmeal-y stout. This one is well reviewed by other reviewers and comes decorated with medals from beer festivals in years past, but it wasn't my cup of tea. Nor my cup of stout, as it were. If it floats up outside my cave I will drink it, but I am not making a special swim to the mainland for this, that is for sure.
Cyclops Rating Scale
Let me break my rating scale down for you. I will rate every beer from one to five eyes, with two eyes being the worst obviously and one eye being perfection. I will leave it to you to work out what three to five eyes on the scale means, I think it is self explanatory.
Cyclops gives this beer 3 1/2 eyes.
we're all like that, we just don't admit it, hence we make things super easy for everyone!
who doesn't have a flesh sacks we call friends, sometimes we just call them balls
eat him next time, and post about it... please? :)
Ah beer comedy with monstrosity, we need more of this flavors....bring it on!
@rubencress - by defecto rules being mentioned in a #comedyopenmic post means you're been nominated!
@cyclops - please randomly select another funny Steemians so we can also see them unleash another @comedyopenmic post upon the Steem blockchain!
Wait ballS plural?!? Are you saying you freakshows have TWO TESTICLES AS WELL?!? WTF is wrong with you! Goodness have you no decency! Get out of here with your two balls and your two eyes. Next thing you are going to be telling me you have two penis.
And btw lest you think just because I don't have ballS that I don't have ball, I nominate @berniesanders for #comedyopenmic. Bernie you are funny as hell, just add the #comedyopenmic tag to your next posting and you should be golden :) Much love - Cy "Just One Ball" Clops
great idea COM. Upvote!
Never saw a dark coloured beer in my entire life. Bad side for me 😆
You are welcome to come by my cave to drink one with me. I will try my very best not to eat you :)