Date A Boy Who Drinks

Date a boy who drinks. Date a boy who spends his money on fine alcohol instead of cars, who decorates his house with empty bottles instead of Sports Illustrated Swimsuit posters. Date a boy who has a list of beers he has tried, and a list of beers he aspires to try.

Find a boy who drinks. Not one who drinks ten Budweiser every Friday night, but one who tries a new beer every time he visits the craft beer section of the specialty liquor store. He’s the one who spends half an hour browsing in the liquor store, only to buy one beer. You see that weird guy asking for his whisky neat, and then having to explain to the sports bar waitress what that means? He’s the one you want. He can’t resist analysing the nose of the cheap whisky he just ordered.

He’s the boy who gets annoyed when someone says that all beer tastes the same. Or when someone says that whisky is only good for mixing. But give him the chance to change your mind, and you’ll be surprised. He will introduce you to fruit beers, to chocolate porters, and to bourbon infused cocktails that don’t drown out all the flavour. Ask him about his favourite fruit beer. He won’t be shy to admit that there are many he likes, because not all fruit beers are brewed to compete with vodka coolers.

Let him know what you think of Trappist ales. Ask him if he truly likes whisky, or if he’s just trying to be hipster. When he convinces you that he is genuine, surprise him by asking if he prefers Jameson or Bushmills.

It’s easy to date a boy who drinks. Give him bottles of scotch for his birthday, for Christmas, for anniversaries. Give him the taste of Islay sea breeze and Highland heather. Give him Oban, Balvenie and Talisker. Let him know that you appreciate the complex flavours of a finely crafted drink. Understand that he knows the difference between sobriety and a buzzed good time, but by jove, he is going to spend the occasional evening in an alcoholic haze. And it will never be your fault if he does, only your reward.

He has to indulge occasionally.

If you still need more reasons, date a boy who drinks because he will probably live longer than someone who doesn’t drink at all, or than someone who drinks too much (1). One glass of cabernet sauvignon a day can do wonders for the body. Date a boy who drinks because he will forget the thing you wish you hadn’t said the night before. Seriously, a jolly and relaxed boy will be able to forgive you for nearly anything.

Date a boy who drinks because he understands that life is complex. He knows that sometimes the nose is nothing like the finish. He understands that some situations require a hot toddy rather than a Red Racer IPA. A hot toddy can probably fix any ill if prepared by a boy who drinks. Trust him when he offers you a strange looking beer. It will probably be the best beer you ever tasted.

He will propose to you in a pub. Not a crowded sports bar, but a picturesque two hundred year old pub that has captured both your heart and his. Except it hasn’t fully captured his, because he will offer you his heart along with a glass of Westmalle Dubbel and a Welsh wedding spoon. He will purchase bottles of wine when your children are born. Some of them he might drink in celebration, but others he will cellar until your children come of age. They might not taste any good nearly two decades later, but then again they might taste wonderful. Date a boy who drinks because he appreciates the rarity of a complex experience. Date a boy who drinks because he can share that wonder with you. Or, drink a boy who dates.

A nod of recognition and inspiration to all those who have previously written a “Date a boy/girl who…” blog post or article. Originally published on my blog back in 2015.