I see that you judge the term "god" and "worship" based on malignant experiences of people who abuse and use these words for their personal gain, which is similar to the first point I made. Even the bible says that people who shout "Lord! Lord!" are not always people of right standing. I do see some religions try to use God's name and twist it for their own evil purposes like killing. That does not mean God does not exist.
Earlier you quote "thou shall not kill" but you need to reference the whole part of that passage because worship is even in the beginning of the ten commandments.
Deuteronomy 5:6-9 "“I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery.
7 “You shall have no other gods before[a] me.
8 “You shall not make for yourself an image in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. 9 You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God..."
Even in that text He says that we should not be worshipping anything but Him because that becomes an idol.
I'm really trying to understand where you are coming from. Do you hate the idea of God because of crooked people like you said earlier that do religious things for money?
Humanity by itself as a whole does not have the capacity to do good without the guidance of the Lord. If you really want to evaluate who God is then you must look at His Son Jesus Christ who is the ultimate example of what it means to honor and worship God, live in righteousness, selflessness, and love without condition or strings attached.
1 John 4:7-12 "7 Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. 8 Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. 9 In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. 10 In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. 11 Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 12 No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us."
Jesus loved me first and died for me whether I was going to serve Him or not and that is the love without condition that brings me to God's heart. That verse said He first loved us. I feel like you have been hurt to people with a false image of God and have done horrible things so I would strongly encourage you to see God by Himself and not seek the behavior of those who claim they worship Him.
As a Christian believer I have seen it all and have been very appalled at the grotesque nature of those I believed were men or women of God. Even before that, I've been there, not seeing the evidence of God in my life as an Agnostic almost Atheist scuffing at the fact that people gathered in His name as some social club with no power. I've been there, seeing the harsh judgment of those who said they served God. I've been there doubting and not understanding what God truly is to us. I've seen how you said "fear" was the driving force of some believers and how it gave them a false image of God. I want you to know that God loves fiercely because He wants the best for you. I just wanted to live my life the way I wanted so I could please people and myself in my own pride saying "I did that" and "I'm the one showed kindness" and "I'm a good person" but that is all a facade now. I was living a lie thinking that I could love with no strings attached. It's easy to do good when you get something in return and that is in our nature as humans but now as I put God first, He shows me how to abandon my own plans and agendas to be a blessing to the world around me without craving gratitude or even my own selfrespect in a prideful way.
The things that I am lead to do are from the Lord and it has made me much happier ever since I received Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior!
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to seem like I was ignoring your response but I wasn't sure exactly how I wanted to go about responding. I decided not to push further trying to explain myself, however I will say this... just keep in mind what I've said. You don't have to agree with any of it, just don't write it off just yet. I believe a time will come in the near future when you will begin to understand what I'm trying to say. All I ask is that you don't ignore that. I live my life by 2 words... question everything. I encourage everyone I can to do the same. You may come out with the same result after doing so, and that's ok but just going through the process with an open mind can show you things you've never seen before.
Oh, I wanted to also say that I do understand you and I meant no disrespect... I just see things from a different perspective supported by a lot of research from outside the confines of organized religion.