So grateful we connected! Thank you for reading this and taking a moment to understand what going through this means for me. The ups and downs are very destructive...and each burnout brings me closer to the edge. Dangerous way to continue to live...but at this time in my life I only have the awareness...not realistic solutions. A better support system would probably help quite alot. I live alone and only have my mom checking in once every few days...the rest of my family keeps their distance. I never made any new friends after moving here and it's too isolated to get around anyway. Other old friends drifted away or decided to avoid me much like family does. Compassion is usually there...they can sometimes see how much pain I experience...but don't want to see it or be reminded that something this bad can strike you down. They don't want to be around someone who gets easily tired. As for medical professionals...offline communities and groups those are non existent too. I have tried to establish them time and time again but so far there is always something preventing them from sticking. Completely on my own here...accept for my cat of course! She is my best friend...family and light in my life. Strip everything else away...and spending each day with her is what keeps me going. I don't often make comparisons on whose health is worse to gain perspective because it's relative...and somewhat subjective too. Similar to comparing happiness...comparing misery never really results in something beneficial to work with. Anyway...thank you so very much for the kind words! Not sure when ill be back in action.
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I was too late to UV your original post so I UV'd this comment. <3
I feel a lot of what you said. I wish there was a magick healing wand I could wave to heal all my friends who deal with chronic conditions of various types. People who don't I don't think fully grasp how it wears on you.
I hope the canna-curate fundraiser is successful enough to get you some tinctures! Much love. <3