Local Canadian man dies of starvation as he waits a week for Bitcoin transaction to process. Onlookers who described the scene were shocked as he babbled on about how it was the currency of the future, and employees were rebuffed multiple times when they asked if he would rather have it charged in CAD instead. His dying words were that off-chain solutions were not needed, and that scaling issues could be arrived at in time for him to enjoy his meal in peace. KFC's official statement is that they are grateful for his participation in a new economic paradigm, and that they are deeply sorry to the family. They are offering a complimentary bucket to the family, as they are unable to refund the transaction because no other family members had access to the private keys. The wife's only statement was that she was shocked to learn that her husband had any bitcoin at all.
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That is the funniest and most true thing I have read on the web all day.