Hello @stan. I'm new to the blockchain. I'm a Steemit user. Although I don't know you or Paul, I can identify with his situation. The same thing happened to my mom many years ago.
Like Paul, she wanted her family to honor her wishes as she had made her life choices.
It's hard to see a family member or friend in this situation. One thing I know is that we can't control tragedies of life. We don't understand them, nor can we predict them.
As in Proverbs 3:5 "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding."
I wish both you and Paul the best.