Ugh, I really feel what you're saying here. I look back at some of my old writing and see that some of my best stuff was written during times of fairly intense struggle, mostly when I was younger. I was so much hungrier back then and think I put more effort into it. During those years I was juggling a full time job, still writing sometimes six hours a day, and reading tons. Thinking about it now makes my head spin. I also just didn't give a f*ck because I automatically assumed what I was writing would likely never get published anyway. I'm just not nearly as hungry at 53 as I was in my 20's, 30's, 40's and my brain isn't as sharp either, I can tell. Good pieces take longer to craft.
Anything that interrupts our flow, makes us second guess our words, or if we're purposely writing for a certain audience it takes away from that special essence that makes our writing unique. The great thing is we can write different things for different purposes. We can write for an audience but still have a separate outlet or platform for the edgier stuff where we use no filters.
As you've said here, I think to a certain extent once money enters the equation writing instantly becomes formulaic to some degree. At a certain point you also start thinking more about your "brand", legacy, and reputation then the writing becomes more stale even still.
Enjoy this time of your life as much as you can and make the most of your youth. It's when we're truly living that we're inspired to write the great stuff. You're going to go on to do some wonderful things.
It's a good trick. Be even smarter if we found a way to maintain that impression even if we knew otherwise. The second I know I'm writing for someone, I start to make it sound a certain way. I say I've written certain pieces for so-and-so, and I have. It's what I think that person would want to hear, not what I'd want to say. Awful.
Hive's certainly a godsend, in that regard.
I was going to ask why you think the writing changes, whether it's just aging or something more. Legacy. That's an interesting thought. I would've guessed the contrary (being more afraid to be edgy when you're younger for fear of judgment, which seems to thankfully fade as you go)...
<3 thank you, my friend.
I think the trick is to just write for you no matter what but then you have to be open to more rejections from those you're trying to sell your work to. Rick Rubin's book The Creative Act has been a good reminder of how sacred creating just for myself is. We just have to repeat it like a mantra so it "sticks".
Hive has been a Godsend for creativity! I, honestly, don't know what I would have done without it these past eight years.
I think the hunger just dissipates as you get older, you get more comfortable in so many ways (spiritually, psychologically, financially).
You're welcome! I hope you enjoy the rest of the week.
I keep hearing about him, but have yet to check him out. Thank you for the recommend <3