Overthinking Kills Your Happiness

When I think about the effect of overthinking on someone, I get the distinct image of a scene from the movie Hook. It is shortly after Peter Pan and the Lost Boys decide to attack the pirate ship. Smee, who’s have a conniption, is asked to do something more intelligent, so he goes running into the cabin, exclaiming, “Smee! Smee! What about Smee! Smee’s me. What about me?” Thus does he proceed to start stealing the treasures from Captain Hook’s quarters, because that is obviously the most intelligent way to escape the Lost Boy invasion.

Case in point: Smee is the epitome of overthinking. He runs around looking for answers but always selfishly falls back on himself.

You don’t want to be like Smee, do you?

The Science
In 2016, after several meta-analyses, Yale psychologist David Rand reported that people who are in a time crunch “tend to act with greater generosity,” and “when given time to think [something] over, people tend to choose the option that serves themselves over the one that would best serve others.” In other words, when you spend time worrying about something happening to you, you forget about the problems everyone else might be going through.
People are wired to be kind and selfless—not egocentric and selfish. So if you want to turn your habits of overthinking around, there are some ways to combat that behaviour.

1. Don’t think about what could go wrong.
Overthinking is caused by fear. You may fear commitment, failure, or just have paranoia about horribly unrealistic consequences. At any time you begin to doubt yourself or the outcome of something, stop and take a step away from the situation. You need to assess how you’re responding to the problem. Use this moment to readjust your focus.

2. Put things into perspective.
Negativity is easy. You can exaggerate the bad things and turn an anthill into Mount Everest; but at the end of the day its only a tiny bump in the road. Start to look at little troubles as something that only matters right this second. In a week, a month, or a year, the stumble will mean nothing, especially if you handle it correctly.

3. Call someone…and actually listen to them.
Seriously, just call a friend or a family member that you haven’t spoken to in a while to see how they’re doing. This means going beyond the obligatory, “How’s life” to delve a little deeper. You are not going to go into detail about your troubles. Instead, you are going to listen to theirs without saying much. Soak it in. When the time comes to give advice, you had better been listening.

4. Realize you can’t predict the future.
In other words, you need to stop spending so much look to the “what ifs.” There’s a here and now, and if you’re not 100% present, you’re going to miss a lot. Spend time on the things that you can do right this moment. Stop worrying about something that might never happen.

5. Understand that you are far from perfect.
Perfectionists overthink everything. Why? Over Thinking stems from rigid, impractical, and over-ambitious thoughts. “It must be done this way,” or “I have to do this perfectly,” leave little room for adaptation. Plus, perfection is actually quite limiting. You will never make any progress if you cannot accept mistakes.

Overthinking robs you of happiness. It turns you into a self-serving maniac who only thinks the future revolves around your personal successes. That’s not true. Whether you are afraid or overambitious, there is only so much you can do for yourself. Don’t forget others in your quest to live boldly. Make friends, be kind, and stop thinking about what can go wrong.