The state and its rules are all a bunch of stupid imbeciles. Be free to choose what you want to do is the need of today. It is so silly that the state is playing such a repressive role in the private lives of people who choose and want to be free. I am really sorry to read about your situation. Maybe moving to Portugal will be a fresh and better start of a new life for you. Take care and feel free.
Peace and love !!!
Thank you @atulmittal, I believe this move to Portugal may be the light at the end of the tunnel. :)