When I was maybe 12 my Dad and stepmother used to sleep in on the weekends so I had to answer the door to Jehova's Witness and the like. As I've gotten old I've fantasized (but never acted on) my revenge. I wish I had the guts to answer the door, the wife and I, me wearing a condom and her wearing a strapon, and enthusiastically invite them in.
Trust me, I'm a doctor.
Yea, I think you house would never be approached again, maybe not even the mail man.
I can't leave you alone for five minutes without you coming up with some thing like this. How did you get out of your cage? Why am I awake? What am I going to do with you? Feeding you is not the answer. It only makes you stronger.