“There can be no greater gift than that of giving one’s time and energy to help others without expecting anything in return.” ~ Nelson Mandela
Expectations are a natural instinct and woccurrenceeaction isn’t satisfied, a strong feeling of disappointment settles in. The normal occurrence is when you do something for someone the expectation of reciprocation is normal. Most commonly people expect a give and take from their relationships. Even when performing a selfless, charitable act there is still the expectation, if not for a material gain, of an acknowledgment. The disappointment that follows is always disheartening.
Expectation comes in many forms, like expecting your friends to have your back or not being invited to the wedding of person you’ve always considered a friend or scenarios that are similar. These are natural presumptions to have and when they don’t follow through it…well, it really sucks. Being a bit of a sensitive person, I understand how badly dismaying it feels to not be included. When I really started grappling within myself, it boiled down to the expectancies in relationships. I questioned myself “Why do I care so much?” I doubt if the people who hurt me are even aware that they were causing any sort of discomfort, their decision probably was an oversight. The first instinct is to wonder if I did something wrong or maybe I’m not likable. Logically, it’s none of the above, but overthinking will send your imagination into overdrive and create a sapphire dragon. After navigating through my delusion, I convinced myself that everyone goes through rejection when they have their hope filled with assumptions. This brought forth the verdict that not everyone takes it personally because they have no pending expectation. People establish bonds and friendships because they enjoy it without wanting something in return.
Letting go of the expectation of expecting anything from an action or decision is liberating. Letting go prevents you from nurturing that hope of gaining something in return and it enables you to strive for selflessness. Every decision made from then on would be based solely on the reason that you wanted to perform that act or make that decision. The new goal in life should be to do things because you want to without the pressure of wanting anything in return.
That’s the bottom line: Have no expectations and in return you won’t be disappointed. In fact, the happiest people I encounter have zero expectations from anyone. That’s the level we should aspire to reach.
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