Hey, @melissamyra.
This read much like a diary entry. Intimate, reflective, self-aware, but not judgmental. I think it's a healthy thing to write down thoughts and walk through some things.
I perfectly understand the staying in touch thing. I have a hard enough time doing it with my parents, let alone cousins or someone else I haven't heard from in years. I feel like it should be a two way street, too. I shouldn't always be the one to strike up conversations, right?
You're basically half way to fifty, and I'm already nearly three years past. I'm afraid the forgetfulness doesn't suddenly reverse. :) However, now that you're getting out of graphic design and back into drawing, maybe other things can come together, too.
You never know what life might have in store. :)