Hey guys,
Today I am going to share some of my insights from my first Ayahuasca ceremony I did in Peru. Note that this is just my experience and that everyone that drinks this medicine has a totally different experience every time. Another thing I want to point out is that these insights don't even scratch the surface of how things really went down in the jungle. Why? Because our language is too limited for some concepts to be understood intellectually. Most of these insights came to me mostly from visions, feelings, emotions, intuitions, or just an inner voice. Prior to the first ceremony it is crucial to have a clear intention for what you want to get out the experience but at the same time it is important not to get attached to whether your questions/intentions are answered.
1st Ceremony insights:
Its all a shit show(literally). Life and everything is all part of one thing. One single organism.
As I sat in the maloka in pitch darkness after about 30 min I felt the medicine start to hit me. I got an overwhelming sense of panic and a feeling of intense fear covered my whole body. My stomach churned and my heart rate shot up drastically making me feel as if death was closing in. I felt my body resisting against these feelings but a voice coming from somewhere else whispered in my ear to "let go". Instantly after this I felt an uncontrollable urge to go to the bathroom but I was "stuck" so I ended up going in my pants. Yup it happened. I shit myself and it was the best feeling of letting go there was. As I laid there basking in my own fecal matter the insight came to me so clearly. The cycle of life goes something like this...we as humans are meant to eat a plant based diet; then our body digests these plants and our waste becomes fertilizer for more plants to grow. Finally when we die our bodies are meant to be absorbed by the earth so more life can grow from our remains. Crazy right?
Disidentify from the mind and your thoughts. Your thoughts aren't really you. Identification with thoughts and the emotions that go with those thoughts creates a false mind-made sense of self, conditioned by the past: the "little me" and its story. In other words you are not your ego..you are something much bigger than that. The problem is not to be able to stop thinking. It is a dreadful illness, but we don't realize this because almost everybody is suffering from it, so it is considered normal. This incessant mental noise prevents us from finding that realm of inner stillness that is inseparable from being who you truly are.
Telepathic communication with shamans and people around me. I know for a fact that this is part of our process in evolving as human beings. During my first ceremony there was a point where I was able to communicate telepathically with the shamans telling them the way I felt at the moment and saying how intense this was in a humorous way. I remember specifically cracking a joke saying to the shaman that they should tell each person to bring "diapers"(for the incident above) to have during each persons stay at the retreat. The next day after the effects of the medicine had worn off I went and asked the shaman about our conversation the night before and he just laughed and gave me reassurance that it had really happened.
We are all brothers and here to love one another.
Simply put everyone instinctively knows that this is true yet look at the current situation the world is in today. Its one thing to understand or know something and another thing is to sum up the courage to act on it.
I am light, I am everything, I am the creator manifesting and manipulating the world around me. I was shown that people I feel drawn to reflect my inner self back at me, and I act as a mirror for them as well. The fact that we are all mirrors for each other, looking at the people my life showed me a lot about myself. "Who you are can be laid bare to you through what you see in others."
I am responsible for what kind of thoughts I have. Good thoughts=good habits=good feelings. Bad thoughts attract bed situations and what you don't want. The trick is to be conscious of when this is happening to be able to stop it.
Learn to surrender to a higher force.(In this case surrender to the experience) Do not resist, just let it take you and show you what you need to be shown. Ayahuasca will most likely ever give you what you want but it will give you exactly what you need at what ever stage you are in your life.
Ask the universe and you shall receive. Literally. Ask for anything and everything. A lot of you may know about the law of attraction and this is how it works. Its really that simple. You just have to ask consistently and be patient.
Ayahuasca will show you the clarity and the path that best serves you but it is up to you to make it happen. Its not like after experiencing something like this all your problems are fixed and life just gets easier. It actually gets harder. You start realizing why things are as fucked up as they are and how after receiving this knowledge it is our responsibility as a generation to help the world wake up in some way or another.
Forgiveness towards family members and so much love and gratitude to have all these wonderful people in my life. I felt a huge weight lifted after having resolved some inner issues I wasn't even aware that I had. A sense of lightness came to me after forgiving past relationships and people who wrong did me in the past as well.
Those where most of the insights that came to me after just 1 out of 5 ceremonies working with Ayahuasca. In my next post I will share my experience from my second ceremony which was totally different than the first so stay tuned. If any of you feel inclined to find out more about this and are interested in doing your own research I recommend https://ayahuascahealings.com/ayahuasca-retreats-peru/ which is the center I went to in Tarapoto, Peru. Much love and blessing to everyone!!
That sounds pretty intense. I read your story. I like all the insights, but mostly I find myself wondering how long these thoughts and feelings will stay with you. Obviously, the thoughts are with you for a while, long enough to write about it here. But I'm wondering if this is the type of experience that will stick with you intensely for months. Or even years perhaps? I guess what I'm getting at, is I'm curious if this ends up changing you permanently as a person, or if it's something where the effects fade with time.