OK, not literally starving, that's not funny at all.
It hurts, trust me. Been there and done that - and don't want to do it again...which makes this post even stranger..
But, with the steem price carnage, I'm headed in that direction..
(until my other business hiccup is resolved - which it isn't , yet)
Don't get me wrong, this is not a whiny post - far from it, actually.
Let's be clear - I am not going to starve. No drama's.
What the drop price in steem has done, is take the pressure off to produce content for rewards as the goal.
(something that inevitably happens when you need money to eat).
There is no way I can make enough on my posts to cover the difference in $2.5/$3 steem price.
As happens in my life (more times I care to think about), when this moment hits, I get this overwhelming sense of PANIC!... no, no, only joking.
...Sense of CALM is what I meant, really.
This is not a new experience for me.
While I can stress out (self imposed pressure) to make the money, I'll do my best.... and when I can't - for reasons beyond my control - I become so Zen it annoys everyone around me.
It's a bizarre dynamic.
It's a strange feeling -and even though it's not new - it always surprises me..
Why would I be in more stressed state before, (when working hard), than after - when the earning potential has diminished ?...if you see what I mean?
It doesn't make logical sense.
Or maybe it does, I just don't see it.
Personally speaking, I think it's a subconscious addiction.
An addiction to feeling alive. (and not to be confused with adrenaline addiction).
I have walked away from an 'easy life', all my life.
When it's not easy, it's much more fun. That feeling of being 'on the edge'.
For me personally, it invigorates.. and it really gets my mental juices flowing but in a relaxed way, not a stressful one..
I dunno...It's difficult to explain.
...Whatever the reason, it means I 'feel' that I have time to look at other things....(no feeling of pressure).
My animation attempts for example, are something I've never explored - and I know it's the lack of stress to make enough writing content, that's enabled me -given me the head space - to look at it.
....or the Hitler bunker comedy skits...
(oh... I have some 'you tube banning' political ideas with that one- now I know a little more of what I'm doing...MSM presenters are gonna to suffer... big time).
...And lets not forget my 'bread oven!'. Something I would never have gotten around to without that 'free time' in my head. ( I made another 2 loaves, btw !....and even better than my first !)
So, as the Monty Python team once said.... 'Always look on the bright side of life'
(See? I told you it wasn't whiny!)
You could eliminate your emotional mood swings if you would join the popular entitlement group. They are always MAD about being short changed or cheated. But since you insist on following your own path in life, it's only natural to stress to maximize everything during the good times and calmly contemplate and plan your next step during the hard times.