Thank you for your support! I hear what you are saying- stepping out of the comfort zone and cancelling out the traditional approach which is holding you back takes a lot of courage!
One thing I have learned is how much anger and jealousy I had to deal with within my own traditional family. That was a bigger struggle rather then living on a budget:)
Good luck to you too! Lets stay in touch:)))
M
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If you're willing to share, what anger and jealousy issues did you experience? and what traditions are your family tied in? I wont be offended if you do not wish to share, i am just interested in what other people are experiencing :)
Not a problem at all. Ukrainian and russian families, and mine in particular have a firm belief (at least) the traditional ones, that a woman should be married by the age of thirty and preferably with kids, home etc. I'm on the other hand, 35, no kids, changed cities and countries more times then I can count, and changed 3 professions by now. "Awomanmust"- cook, clean, keep everything tidy, etc. So basically I'm a sore thumb in my mothers eyes:) She gave up her own carrier for the family, which I respect deeply, but some how never took the responsibility for this choice. Truth be told I see this situation quite often, when men and women blame others for their own choices instead of enjoying them to the max. Oh well:) Guess it's pretty standard all over the globe?:)
Ah i feel your pain. Although it is not as deeply ingrained in religious or cultural traditions here, (uk) it is totally that way in the societal complex. I am 30, I do not want to have children, do not want to marry because i think it's just so ridiculous, I have swapped jobs so many times. When i met my boyfriend everybody was saying things like oh so you'll probably settle down now, or now we have been together a few years we get asked when will we have children.
Even since living together, as open minded and awake as he is, all the stereotypical roles of running the house fall on my shoulders, and i really do hate it. But he's better than most, unfortunately we just have to grin and bare it sometimes, but im already starting to feel trapped, not by or with him, i love him dearly, but just by the way of living. I want to explore the world so much more. I will need to spend some time sorting my finances out but i can't see my self staying put and just succumbing to this expected ideal of my self. Im only 30, and bored of it already! haha. Thank you for sharing, i can totally relate to what you are saying. Just keep being awesome! It's been lovely chatting with you.
It took me a long while to think what to say to you. That feeling of entrapment is the worst, but you do have a right to speak up and say something if you don't like it. Being a victim of your own fear and following the rules, enabling the other person to make their own decision is not a way out. When you love someone you care about them and their feelings, but what about your feelings? And if you'll continue building up the unspoken it will burst at one point or another. Saying things with anger and opening a conversation are two different things. There is always a way to communicate. As for relatives, personally I speak what I think, respectfully but without consideration on their opinion. Heck my own grandma told me- don't get married if you don't want too:) I did fight for my freedom at one point and had to fight for respect, because in here respect for a human doesn't exactly exists, only for your doings, and now I'm just happy as I am, not perfect, with a ton of darkness and past, but happy. Take care and hope you'll find your own path:)