This is a fast paced narrative , with very good descriptive skill. I admire the way, you describe, but especially the way you transition between scenes.
I have a few suggestions though, on how you could improve it.
1. I notice you don't format your works well. Poor formatting can make even the best work look bad, and hardly attracts readers. I suggest you improve on the formatting.
Your work has no paragraphs, and is poorly spaced. Given especially the nature of fast paced stories like yours here, paragraphs are a good way to help the reader catch his/her breath.
Look up some posts on how to format your work well. There is quite several of them. But just in case you get stuck, let me know, and i will look for them, and deliver them for you.
2. include at least one picture. Pictures have a way of illustrating stories, and making them easy to follow, and understand.
Make sure, however, to either use your own photos, or if you don't have, to get those which are free. Pixabay is one site where you can find free pictures to use. Again, try loking up some posts about the correct use of pictures.
But overall, it is better to have at least a picture in your post.
Otherwise, my name is @mirrors, and i curate for @asapers. This is a group that manually scouts and supports hidden and unrewarded authors, such as you.
It publishes a daily newsletter featuring selected authors. And its many curators, such as myself, get to upvote the featured post.
That said, let me again suggest this.
- Format this post in accordance with my suggestions above, and i will recommend it. If it is chosen, it will be promoted and upvoted.
- @asapers has a disocord channel where we meet and share experiences, and support each other, and where, moreover, you can promote your works from. Consider joining it. You will meet very supportive members. Here is the link https://discord.gg/xnAEyGX
Huhhhh Forgive me, i write too long! Let me not overwhelm you.
Otherwise, i am glad i stumbled on this fine writing. Honestly it is a powerful story, and i suspect if you format it well, and i recommend it, it could stand a good chance at being selected for curation.
So i hope you will do just that. Thanks @inova. let me hear from you soon.