It's Friday ;D
I don't know anything about anything but a coat closet under the stairs seems like a really awkward spot to put a valve for a lawn irrigation system.
I hope hindsight found The Soakening as hilarious as I did though I imagine it would have been less ideal in the moment especially if it was cold at the time XD
Time is relative, lol
It wasn't funny in the moment, but I could see the humor in it. It why I shared the story. :)