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RE: Shameful content

in #blog7 years ago (edited)

After 2 months and half.
I feel very heavy. He came home at 3am sobered up by the drugs and tried to cuddle me and woke me up but I forced myself to pretend to sleep.
I'm sitting at the office and I just wanna cry.
I'm trying to listen some healing music.
For me the problem is not that he has HIV (diabetes is worse nowadays), I could handle it. The meth is the issue. He keeps repeating that he wants to stop and that he is better than that. He keeps telling me that he has everything under control and that he knows that the drug keep him away from me and his work, but then he does the opposite.
You know what is hard for me? That when I see him I feel love.
Oh, I don't have a discord account, rarely I use steem chat.

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I'm so sorry you're hurting :( Love can be as terrible as it is beautiful. I wish I could tell you the exact thing you need to hear in order to do what's right for you. But all that comes to mind are platitudes- 'You're too good for this' 'You're strong and beautiful and you deserve better' etc. I know, not very helpful. One thing I tell myself when life is shitty is "This too shall pass". It always does, it's the balance of this earth that there will be dark times and light times. Hopefully we appreciate the good more for having gone through the fucking awful.