You: UMMMMMM, Jessica?! There are 8 days missing in your challenge?
Me: ::sigh:: Let me explain...
Part of being me is that I like to completely overload myself and then I fail and say, "SEE YOU CAN'T DO IT." Bitchy, right? I KNOW. Anyway, I'm determined to continue on Steemit and I think the different tag options would be a great way to separate my different topics I'd like to write about. YES, I still want to write, I have to find the most efficient way to get writing into my schedule on top of my studies, homeschooling my son, and slaying my business. Y'all, I'm getting there...
When you grow up with undiagnosed autism it means many things, and most of them are horrible. Your parents don't understand what is "wrong" with you. Your peers don't understand why you dress that way or why you don't "act normal". Meanwhile, everyone is making faces that are supposed to mean something, you just don't know what. EVERYTHING IS LOUD. The lights, the electronics, the voices, the beeping... BAM... Shutdown. I lock myself in my room and don't emerge until school the next day.
Adulthood has brought more enlightenment and progress after 25 than the first years of my life. Some people might think that being undiagnosed is somehow better. Well, they'd be wrong. I missed out on multiple therapies that would have taught me how to interact with neurotypicals properly, how to manage my sensory input, and how to deal with my executive function issues. As a result of my not learning these things and not being diagnosed until after the birth of my first child, I've had to learn all this on my own somewhat correctly.
A huge reason that I've been able to pretend to be normal is the years that I have spent with my partner, Jon. He has helped me manage my autism before we knew what it was. I will forever be grateful to him for sticking by me in the most difficult years of my life.
So, if you have any patience at all, stick around for my phoenix moment. I feel it's coming soon.
Deep breath.
Love,
Jess
