It’s so weird. I had to search for a photo to go along with the quote from “Daring Greatly” that I shared yesterday. I had to search HARD. I don’t have all that many photos, proportionally, in my stash of photo stock that depict bravery, openness, or joy. Photos that are attractive, beautiful, or maybe brave in their open sexuality? Yes, I have lots of those. Coy? Yes...I can do coy all damn day. Most of the photos I have are somewhat coy. A sexy pose and one eye peeking through my hair that hides my face? Yah baby, I’ve played that look for 20 years.
But looking the camera square in the eye unhidden? I have very few shots like this. You say, “well just go take some pictures!” But here’s the thing - I’m not sure I even know how to do that look. That is not the role I have been playing the last 20 years. Holding my ground bravely and openly is a new phase in my life experience, and I’m just learning how to match my outside with my trued up inside.
It’s so weird when you don’t have many images of yourself that match up with who you think you now are. I am less experienced in emoting “brave”. That camera comes out and sexy, shy girl lights up! Coy, mixed body signals, feet turned towards the lens, but knees pulled back and together.
As if to say, “I long for you, but I can’t...something inside me holds it back a little bit.” 👈🏽 this is how I operated for 20 years. This is the role I’ve mastered for photos, and there will always be a little bit of that shy, coy unsure girl in me. But she is not the entirety of who I am any longer.
It’s a funny thing with my pictures. You can look back and with hindsight see the evolution of “me.” My wise friend Amy pointed out that our face represents our identity. And over the years I’ve shown more and more of my face as I’ve become more and more comfortable with who I really am on the inside. My earliest photos were often just a scantily clad beautiful body with a mop of hair completely obscuring the face.
Exposed, but with complete anonymity of my “identity.” Occasionally I would peek 1 eye out from behind my arm or my hair unconsciously reflecting “I see you” and “here ya go...you can see a little more of me.”
But over the years and via different photo blogs that I’ve had... Flickr, Wordpress, now Instagram and Steemit... I’ve worked towards first building up and then dismantling the barricades I’d built around myself for safety so the real me can be seen, heard and breathe.
It’s all part of the process of becoming real.
Edit - pc @sean-king Mostly with a Nikon camera
Nice pics, thats as real as it gets!
Thank you
Thanks For Post Real & Natural Photograph , All Photograph Done By Mobile / DSLR ?
Thank you. No, most of these were with Nikon camera.
Thanks For Reply Me , You & your Photography natural.
So much for becoming real! So even the photos we take depict this much? Oh, I get it, maybe not all the time.. But when you're seeing your soul VS the world staring at you through that lens, it does. It really does. Thanks for eventually becoming real! And I love even the photos during the process 😍😚
Thank you dear 🙏🏽
Thank you @sean-king for those beautiful pictures I like it
you have beautiful wife by the way @steemed-open
Thanks dear :)
You are a very beautiful woman. I am happy that you have grown in your confidence, and as a person.
Joe
@joe.nobel
Infidelity Games, conclusion now posted
Thank you very much 🙏🏽 I always appreciate your comments.
You resemble your porcelain doll a lot in the first photo.
Ah, thank you. 🙏🏽 That is true...we tend to pose her like I like to pose! And I find her beautiful that way...interesting. Thanks for your comment. Helps me see things in myself.
It seems that we are two peas in a pod! It has always been easy for me to do sexy poses and show my body, but daring to look straight into the camera is a lot harder! It's something I have been working towards too. For me it might be easier because I'm only staring at my own camera, not having a person behind it.
That might be easier looking at a camera...one day I’ll get around to playing with selfies with the remote you inspired me to purchase. I’m almost never alone since Sean and I now work from home. So I just don’t think to lock Him out of the bedroom so I can do selfies. But I should... he’d love it!
Weird how different people are comfortable with face vs body. Have you ever done an Enneagram rest? I’m curious which type you are. I’m a 6.
I think it might actually be a fun foreplay for you two 😘
I haven't done the test, just checked it out. I won't get anything accurate with that because the answers are wayyyyy too broad spectrum and many of them have the two opposite answers in on choice, I can't decide!
It’s a bitch of a test, yes. But it’s the most helpful tool I’ve found to understand my ego structure and those I love.
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Hmm, it's an interesting point - about the face - it never actually occurred to me, but looking straight at the camera does feel super-exposing, as if the camera can see more of you, deeper inside you... Awesome pics, as always!
Yes, the body is much easier for me. But our face symbolizes the character with which we identify in this game of life.
Nice to see you back on steemit.
I'm glad to be back!! :)
Nice illustration for the "Before" & "After" story.
Thank you 🙏🏽
It is interesting how we hold an image of ourselves in our minds eye and then can see a photo of ourselves, taken unaware, and think "Who is that?" As if another being is walking about portraying a similarity to the real you, but you're hidden off somewhere.
I hope you can find that 'pose' that exerts your spirit. :)
Thank you, darling. 😘
i like the second one more , warm colors and your pose is charming in it <3
Awe. Thanks so much. 🙏🏽