Are fathers important? If so shouldn't their rights reflect their importance?

in #blog7 years ago (edited)

I have two children that I love more than I ever thought possible to love anybody but unfortunately it has been proven over and over again that me and their mother are not compatible. I think we was compatible when we meet but people do change. I am definitely NOT the same person she meet about 12 years ago and neither is she and even though these changes can be slight it can make a huge difference. We grown up in opposite directions we disagree on everything and that can make parenting very difficult. So many things could start an argument vaccinations, the education system and even things like what they eat and drink could begin an argument. I used to be accused of being awkward and just a pain in the ass for a lot of what I believed. I did not want my first child to have her first set of vaccinations, I obviously lost the argument and she is given the vaccine. It made her bad in fact she cried almost none stop for nearly two weeks which was enough to convince my partner at the time no more vaccinations.

So eventually and inevitable me and my partner split. I still get to see my children which is nice but I also get that sad empty feeling of sometimes going weeks without seeing them and handing them back knowing or at least believing that this time could be the last time.

My problem is with this "system" is it gives fathers no power. My ex keeps the (council) house, she keeps the kids, she gets paid child tax credits to help her with the kids and I get shit! Lucky for me I have cryptocurrency as back up some fathers do not. How are they expected to be there for their children when they recieve NO support whatsoever? I have always had a pretty low opinion of fathers that are not there for their children but I am also beginning to understand them!

Some genuinely do not give a fuck and that is their loss but some actually want to be there for their children but children cost money. Money should never be a deciding factor on a issue like this unfortunately it is and unfortunately it is usually the men that can't afford it as the women will receive their payments men will get NOTHING unless the woman is decent enough to offer.

Unfortunately the system which is so quick to blame men for not being there for their children is not so quick to offer fathers a fair deal or even make it possible for them to be there in some cases.

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I've been with my girlfriend for 20 years & we've got two children aged 8 & 6. It was around the time of our first child's birth that I started realising that the world wasn't the way I thought it was. The last 8 years have been hard for my girlfriend at times, as I've uncovered more and more information & gone deeper into the rabbit hole but she's remained patient & understanding considering some of the topics I look into & talk to her about & we agree on most things.
I cannot imagine what it would be like to not see my children everyday. It would destroy me.
I feel for you man & agree, the system is skewed towards the mother. Like you, I tend to have a pretty low opinion of fathers that are not there for their children but your post has made me think.

If I didn't have YouTube and Steemit I would not be able to afford to see my own kids!

Yeah I feel for you, I'm going thru it now, fighting just to get a few crumbs of seeing the cutest kids in the world. I get a few hours every week after I drive the same amount just to see them. KEEP FIGHTING!