You should blame yourself only to the extend where you realise you are limiting your strength and potential. Be kind to yourself, you are your own best friend and mentor. If you are feeling low, motivation is really hard to come by, but i urge you to engage in any action you think is necessary, for no other reason because you like doing that specific thing and because you recognise that doing what you do is beneficial for the wonderful you. One act of love and kindness towards yourself first a day, is enough to get the ball rolling.
Remember. You are not alone in this, and you are definitely not the only one.
Onward and Upward.