"There's nothing for me here," "I want better opportunities," "I need to be my own person." These statements are all true, they're what I told everyone, how I justified leaving everything I've ever known. What I failed to mention was that I'm really just running, running from the memories, running from his essence.
When I landed on a different continent I thought I'd escaped. No more shared memories in any of the new places, no more triggers to remind me of my life with him.
Oh how wrong I was. Now I wake up at four in the morning, sweating from nightmares of him that I can't escape. Now I think I see his face in every person I pass. I see things that I know he'd love and imagine all the things we'd do together.
I guess this is really why they say running from your problems never works, because when you're truly haunted by something...it follows you everywhere and there's no escape.
I'm so sorry that suck's. I have a daughter I never got to meet. I was lied to i found out back in 2003 that my baby momma wasn't 2 week's late she was early and back then dad's had no rights the only way I could even get pictures was by signing my rights over for her second birthday. It left a blackhole in my heart that I've tried to fill. Its gotten easier over time she will be 16 in November hopefully I will get to meet her in 26 month's😊 How long were you in your relationship for how many people did you not only put on the back burner but stop talking to?