These battles can be started by you but as far as you describing your action, that is as much as you can do. I can't even predict or fully control the outcome. I use the random dice website and the rules I've specified to determine the outcome. I will outline what this would look like and I'll pretend to be a player.
(action) Go to the aisle with bacon jurkey and eat bacon!
@rubenalexander attempts to eat (his teeth have 
attack) the bacon jerky and rolls a 
. In his fury he bites his tounge and lands just in front of the bacon jerky. He gets up and leaps mouth first before attempting a flying bite technique he learned on an Appalacian mountain. He rolls a and successfully bites into the bacon jerky wrapper spitting out the plastic wrap he almost swallowed.
Any time you see the dice, that means I have rolled dice using this website: https://www.random.org/dice/?num=1
This way the outcome is unpredictable and fun. It also makes sure I don't play favorites and slaughter everyone that plays the game.
Dice roll rules:
A
is a very bad luck roll. It often inflicts damage on the attacker or the attacker's party and this even applies to monsters.Rolling less than a
means the attack is unsuccessful.Rolling a
or greater means the attack was successful.Rolling a
is a very lucky roll and will inflict additional damage by adding the dice number to the attack of the weapon used.Weapon attack, monster HP and attack, are all assigned at random with a dice roll.