Today in LolCat NewZine "Aaaah! my owners are hippies"

[coral8]

Hi there fellow Steemians!

I must bring to your attention to this urgent and CATastrophic report. In my on going love and admiration of the fantastic feline, I couldn't help noticing that there is an evident epidemic of cats being exposed to Hippy-mania. The cat; a fluffy, apathetic, predatory and glamorous animal which indeed spends most of its time plotting world dominion, is being subjugated to terrible acts of tie-die, flower power and Vegan diets!!

Below I have compiled a list of the most recent evidence of this horrifying phenomenon

Specimen: A
There is no peace and love behind this cat's eyes
"grrr this is gonna take days to groom"

Specimen: B

Playful kittens are giving up.
"Help us! help us! we no longer have the desire to play with our reflections!!!"

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Specimen: C

I stumbled apon this monstrosity dure in my curation Thus proving the occultist leanings of these crimes and the perversion of cat culture!

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Specimen: D
Further evidence below shows shocking imagery of the rising epidemic of cat vegetarianism, this image was leaked to us from inside a cattention center from 'Kitty Asange' who told us that there are hundreds of cats from all over the world being forced to part-take in drum circles and live solely off raw vegetables for the sake of the planet!!

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Specimen: E

These poor darlings shown below, have been reduced to what can only be described as a mediorce colouring book. There owners when asked did not believe in wasting paper as it was disrespectful to trees but were completely fine with the usage of 50 spray paint cans instead.

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Specimen: F

This unlucky prisoner has been punished for bringing a gift to its owners. Here we see a broken animal made to watch and help its natural prey build a bicycle. This is extremely nauseating considering birds have wings and have absolutely no need for bipedal instruments.

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Specimen G

This eye-watering image clearly shows the negative impact fruit can have on a devine cat, and the heart breaking effect of this problem. Luckily this individual named " starshine " by his owners, has been liberated from his confusing confines by our very own warriors of NewZine

Mungo Jerry and Rumple Teaser

These heroes were amongst the first cats to stand up to there disco loving owners who imposed a glitteratti ball upon them on a daily basis. They are now the anarchist leaders of a group called the MightyMeow and are dedicated to the freedom of Furries.

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I spoke briefley about "Starshine" with the fearless pair:

Mungo: "This was a terrible case "Starshine" was being made to try every fruit in the bloody rainbow, his paws even had citrus burns... It was to much and this brave little soldier managed to get passage into his owners work office ( where they run a business called "FelineFruit" selling canned catsized portions of undigestable mess) and sent out this help message via the male owner's encrypted computer files."

RumpleTeaser: "it took us a while to claw through the code but it soon became clear that "starshine" needed real help. Im not at liberty to discuss MightyMeow's tactical secrets but I can safely say that our brave Buddy is doing well in recovery and is shaping up to be be one of our most skilled and promising recruits"

Mungo: " Yes, any cat we rescue becomes part of our family, we offer training in hunting and sock destruction as well as honing personal talents. Among other things, "Starshine's" new name is being discussed and we are considering: 'BoxKing' or 'Catank' for the naming ceremony next week"

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Though MightyMeow are a secretive bunch but being good friends with LolCat NewZine, they allowed me to have some of their training footage featuring exquisitely designed equipment engineered by "starshine" only two days after his emancipation.

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As you can see my report has only scratched the surface of this rising problem of 'Hippy owners' among other types taking it too far with there cats. Therefore we must keep our eyes peeled and our fur fluffed for similar crimes.

If you encounter any such evidence, be it photographic, video or even a sketch or audio, please feel free to reply and we can feature it in the next LolCat NewZine it also required to possibly be provided to MightyMeow in order to help with there rescue and training missions.*

Mungo Jerry: "All cats are welcome to join as long as they are able to provide evidence of and demonstrate fearlessness, ingenuity, agility or all three in there photographic submissions"

Rumple Teaser: " Indeed we are an elite group and we scrutinize hundreds of submissions before we select those to progress to interview stage. However don't be deterred if your cat is clumsy or a little rotund as we welcome any cat that can show himself to be the best at being CAT and based on this even dogs are accepted"
!

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Thankyou for taking the time to read through my report and please raise urgent awareness over this matter by Re-steeming! as soon as possible!
Remember to say NO to this:

*** and YES to this:

I hope you enjoyed this edition of LolCat NewZine and Follow Me! to Keep up to date with next weeks edition and of course report developments from 'MightyMeow'

This is a picture of me before my emancipation collaborative UV project make up/costume designed be me and photographed by the my talented friend Micheal Heath.

If you would like to know more about me or any of the cats involved in this piece please do not hesitate to reply...checkout my bio! @Coral8 follow the link to learn more about me and my various projects on steemit.

All my writing is completely original and I pride myself on working with creative photographers and film makers etc
So if you have a piece of work or original CAT photography* that you think may be suited to LolCatNewZine your are most welcome to message me on twitter @kittyhazardous or via steemit and will see what we can do to promote your work :)

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Cheerio for now xx

Re-steem ...
Before its too late...