I am busy with this book Blueprints for a solid marriage, where Dr. Steve Stephens says that marriages are like houses. We are busy with the kitchen, which represents all the practical projects in the marriage.
The first practical protect was PRACTICAL TOGETHERNESS
https://steemit.com/christian-trial/@hope777/love-and-marriage-69-the-kitchen-practical-togetherness
The second practical project is FINANCIAL MANAGEMENT
The number one thing couples fight over is money. Money is one of the areas of practical togetherness. Couples may divorce and when asked what was the reason they would say “money”. Money is not the reason for divorce, it is the lack of practical togetherness and lack of communication about finances.
Even if couples do have own sources of income which is more likely today, then they must create a place where they can share a portion of their financial resources. Here they work as a team. The money is not “his” or “hers” it is “ours”.
Both partners must take interests and responsibility for their joint assets, even if one of the two is better with financial matters.
PAY YOUR BILLS TOGETHER. If you do this, you both know where you are financially.
How much things cost.
How much debt you have.
How much savings you have.
And how much expenses have changed.
This way there are no surprises, and when problems arise, they can be discussed before they build to a crisIs. Have one partner look at the bill and the other one make the payment. The next month you can change roles.
- PLAN YOUR BUDGET TOGETHER.
Most couples don’t have a budget, and as a result, they spend more than they earn. Sooner or later this will catch up with you, putting a lot of pressure on the relationship. Financial experts encourage every couple to track their spending for three months. Be realistic, but commit to spending less than you earn each month. If this is not possible, it’s time to downsize your expenses and lifestyle. Both of you need to agree with your budget, because if one feels forced to confirm, they will not be motivated to cooperate. So once you have accepted a workable budget then develop a strategy to live within its parameters.
AGREE TO MAJOR EXPENSES AND CHANGES TO THE BUDGET TOGETHER.
As members of a TEAM, you don’t make decisions that impact the budget without both of you being in agreement. Maybe he will think you need a new sound system and yard equipment and she will think there is some furniture and kitchen equipment needed. Then you must sit down together and work out when to get each need met in a way that seems equally fair. Never make a major purchase without your spouse’s approval. It is not a issue of getting permission: it’s an issue of showing respect and building trust.DISCUSS THE FOUR SPECIAL BASKETS TOGETHER. After the major expenses are paid, talk about the four more areas in which to place your money. Each of these is very important: To ignore them is to diminish your marriage and your togetherness. I call them the four special baskets.
~The Giving basket: Giving to God, those in need, and various special causes can enrich your marriage.
~The Retirement basket: Setting aside money for the future can help both of you get the most enjoyment from your Golden years.
~The Security basket: Saving a portion of your income for emergencies or unexpected situations makes good sense. Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst.
~The Dream basket: Using the money for short-term and long-term dreams can add excitement and anticipation to any marriage.
- MANAGE YOUR FINANCES TOGETHER.
This involves talking through every issue that comes up while realizing that each of you may value and spend money differently. Respect each other, but also admit that one of you might be a better money manager than the other. You may wish to defer to that person, but that should not be allowed to sabotage your togetherness. Some experts say that as many as 80 percent of all divorces are the result of financial difficulties. Therefore manage your finances together or they will mismanage you and then drive you apart.
Here are a few financial principles to get you started.
- Talk about your finances regularly.
- Give to God off the top.
- Make a budget.
- Avoid new credit card debt.
- Pay off current credit card debt as soon as possible.
- Have two months of living expenses in savings.
- Plan for your future.
Finances are important, but it is dangerous to make them too important. I have found that many of the best things in life are free – a sunset, children’s laughter, a compliment, a cool drink of water on a hot day, peace of mind, good friends and being loved. Yet we still dream of things and cling to things. I have discovered two basic rules about the stuff we collect:
~The Law of Diminishing Satisfaction: The longer you have something, the less it satisfies
~The Law of Increasing Dissatisfaction: The longer you have something, the more you long for something more or different.
Finances need to be kept in proper perspective. If you ignore them, you will get into trouble. If you battle over them, you may create distance or distrust in your marriage. YET IF YOU WORK TOGETHER, YOU WILL DRAW CLOSER IN THIS AREA AND SO MANY OTHERS.
Next post continue on other areas of practical togetherness.
Source: Blueprints for a solid marriage, Dr. Steve Stephens
Images: freepik.com
Thank you for reading, be blessed, be together!
Well written my friend. Sadly most folks live above their means and are not financially responsible. They take on more debt than they should. Also money often equates with control and for the non-Christian it can provide power and manipulation in some relationships. Enjoyed the law of diminishing Satisfaction. Good read. Thanks for sharing.
I love this. Keep it up. Helpful
Thank you for commenting, keep on following.
This post has received a 0.22 % upvote from @drotto thanks to: @banjo.
Very true and an excellent post, seen so many people loose a partner then they are stuck, because they do not know what to do.
Thank you for reading and commenting @bigbear!
Indeed the truth. :) Great post as always @hope777! ^^
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