Here are a few words from one of my first books...
Users: The Hate that Masquerades as Love
We use the word "love" to refer to two distinctly different emotions, although most of us are completely unaware of the distinction between pure love and the impostor for the simple reason that the impostor "love" is the only love we have ever known.
For love to be pure, of course, it cannot be adulterated by any emotion or consideration of advantage on the part of the bestow-er. It is the love I frequently refer to as "not hate" for strictly speaking pure love is not an emotion at all. It is simply a selfless obedience to God's will, to what we intuitively know to be the right thing to do. Pure love would be impossible for an atheist to experience, depending as it does on complete submission to an authority higher than our own egos.
This phenomenon (I can hardly call it an "emotion") of pure love rarely as it is to be encountered in our materialistic society, is nevertheless the very modus operandi of the pure in heart of those who have arrived at the state of objectivity that I hope to guide all of you to through the meditation.
In the meantime, let's take a closer look at the love that grows out of hate (resentment). Strangely enough, the very situation that calls out for love also evokes and serves to justify the reaction of hate in those who have never known real love. All the situations that "try men's souls" are "trying" or challenging only because we have no love with which to meet them.
The "love" we have grown up on, the only love most of us have ever known, is a love that grew out of hate.
Needless to say such love is always false, violent, violating and destructive and it is the love that passes from one generation to the next through the failure of our parents and of their parents before them, to resist the temptation to hate.
Once we give in to the pull of resentment, we cut ourselves off from the true ground of our being and pride rushes in to support and transform us.
This new self, feeling the pain and guilt of its separation from God man must now turn to its new god for comfort to the loveless, impatient spirit of the man or woman who corrupted it. That is why all men are literally looking for their mothers in their wives; and all women seek their fathers in their husbands.
There is no escape. They can be attracted only to those persons in whom they can find the familiar spirit of their parents.
Once the transformation has taken place, the changeling is forced to resolve its conflict with God in Pride's way. That is, by rejecting any lingering guilt for having strayed from God's truth through reaching out to "people" truth and its emotion sustaining false love.
When we resent a parent, we create within ourselves a need for that parent's acceptance; and we need that acceptance, not only from the actual parent, but also from the parent equivalent we have found in the husband, wife, friend/fiend or dope pusher. The true love is a crying out for the nurturing source of Creation and false love is a crying need for the source of its corruption. The displaced identity cries out for the embrace of the very hell that caused it to come into existence through hatred.
An unloved woman loves out of guilt or hate and she expresses that love for her family by supporting them in their weakness and thus spoiling them to death. She falls allover herself to please a man in order to conceal and soothe the secret loathing she feels for all men. She services his need in order to service her own need to judge.
A large part of this hatred of all men does not grow out of a woman's own experience but is an inheritance from her mother. A girl child soon learns to hate her father because her mother hates him. She simply feels what her mother feels because she is bonded to her mother in such a way that she feels what her mother feels for her husband. - by Roy Masters from http://fhu.com
