When I first started riding bike to work, my reasons for doing so were based on saving money and staying fit. While those are still motivating factors for me to get "in the saddle", they have been superseded by the time the ride gives me to clear my head. I suppose everyone has their own ways of doing this. For me, this is the best uninterrupted time for prayer and thought.
Commuting by auto brings the distractions of music or a podcast. In Minnesota, for good or for worse, it is illegal to wear headphones on the bike, so there goes that distraction. As my wife, or anyone with children can attest, it is hard to carve out quiet time away from the kids to focus at home. I tried the hayloft once, but the goats heard me climb up there and immediately gave away my hiding spot.
So, back to the bike, the whole wide shoulder to myself. Me and the bike, keeping an eye and ear on traffic, on auto-pilot, pedaling onward to the office, just thinking and praying.
It has really weighed heavily on me lately, the state of our modern institutional church. I have been a Christian for a long time and have grown up within several churches through my life. I am actively involved in a church right now, yet somehow I cannot shake this feeling and growing dislike of the institutionalized church as we know it, in its current form. Structured and legalistic, no longer alive and organic. The only way you are accepted into the "in" crowd is by helping out on Wednesday nights. Is this how the Church was supposed to function? As I read through Acts, or, any of the gospels, I cannot help but feel the Church has strayed off the path a bit from where it first began. Now, I fully understand that all involved in the Church, including myself, are not perfect.
We all are to blame for its current condition. We live in a fallen world and the Church will never live up to its ideal, until it worships in the presence of God. So maybe these thoughts are just my own selfishness and guilt tugging at me, or just the rambling thoughts of a tired cyclist on his way to work.
You may have heard the saying, "Give me Jesus, but not the Church". With the current state of the Church, I would say, I'm not far from feeling the same way myself! Albeit, I do understand the "church" that many think of as "the church", and the biblical Church are two different things. The biblical Church is Christ's bride, peoples from all nations and ethnicities that have chosen to love Christ and to wholly accept Him as their redeemer. They understand they are broken and sinful and are made whole by Him alone, and now leave behind their old nature and worldly pursuits to follow Him. These people, I do cherish and do not want to live life without. As Christ said, we are the body, we work better together, than apart. You're probably well aware, without any prior medical education, that a hand without a head doesn't work real great. It is the other church, the modern day church, what the world sees as the church, that I could do without. The teaching at our Church is Biblically based, but there is something intangible that seems out of place. Maybe it is something within myself that I need to further examine, or maybe, not.
I want to give a few examples that I think lend to that intangible strife I am grappling.
A few years ago, while on a men's retreat with our Church, I wrecked my snowmobile while riding with the group of guys. The wreck messed up both myself and my snowmobile. I was extremely shaken, to me, a near death experience, even though the injuries I sustained were not life threatening. I was in tough shape for a week or two. The wreck left me feeling defeated, but more so, the lack of a single soul from our Church checking in with me to see how I was feeling or doing was ever more painful. The fact that many of them were present when it happened removed any excuses and was like a knife twist. I don't tell this story to judge those involved, but to illustrate a breakdown of true community within the Church, hang with me for a bit.
Later, around the same time period, I ended up needing to go in for knee surgery after being immobile for a couple of weeks. Again, not a single person from our Church reached out to me in my absence. Feeling abandoned and as if no one at the church cared at all, we started looking at other Churches. You can tell yourself the grass is greener, but it rarely is. In the rural setting we are in, due to lack of choices, we landed back at the same church. To our surprise, the people we used to spend time with, all seemed to point their noses up at us after our return, rather than ask us how we had been and where we had been. Sort of like the prodigal son, we were shunned by the elder brother. We swallowed our pride and continued to go, relationships with these individuals never to be fully mended. Aside from these people, there are others that balance the experience out and have been the sole reason we continue attending this Church. For them, I am thankful!
In parallel with this, I have found our generation within the Church (I am using the term Church here broadly, not inclusive to the church we attend on Sundays) has been sorely neglected by previous generations. Not in material, but time. It is as if they think they completed their job as mentor and teacher, and just checked out to pursue the world. Some around here are called snowbirds. They'll tell you they deserve every bit of it, and that may very well be the case. Who am I to argue, they put in there time after all. Again, this is a generalization and there are of course, exceptions, but this has overwhelmingly been my experience. There are many times over the years I cried out for a mentor, but non were found, they were preoccupied with other more important things I suppose. There are many times I wished to receive wisdom from a grandfatherly figure (both of mine have passed on), and likewise, I could not find one. When my wife and I were just getting our family going, there are many times we would have loved to have had, shall we say, an experienced couple, to walk with us, from time-to-time, along our side. Time-tested advice mixed with a little Christian love would have gone a long way. Just a little time, less judgment, and a little encouragement. As Francis Chan so clearly put it, if life is a race we are running, then finish it well. Don't cross the finish line at a snails pace!
Of all places, the Church should be a safe place to talk openly about meaningful topics, but instead our conversations are overrun by other completely unimportant "surfacy" conversations like their kids basketball game or track meet performance. Throw in a lot of "I've been soo busy" and it about sums it up. This sound familiar? While there is a time and a place, it doesn't have to be every time and place. I get it, you value your worth and societal standing by how well your kid places or how busy your schedule is, but I am here to tell you, in the grand scheme of things, IT DOESN'T MATTER!
So, can you blame us millennials for rejecting the modern church and seeking out something with more substance and sincerity than what the modern church has to offer apart from Jesus? Now, don't get me wrong, there are others leaving the church for completely selfish reasons too, (we millennials can be selfish, thus the call for mentors!) I understand that, but that is not the group my thoughts are focused on right now.
I surely don't have it all figured out, but I do know that I am not alone in this struggle. My wife and I have talked to enough people that feel the same way or have left our church for the same reasons. We just want good old fashioned honest relationship and community. We can receive the best Biblical teaching, but if everyone lives these dual faced lives, then it is all nothing but a game, a rouse. I'd rather not play that game. If my struggles, as a long time Christian growing up inside the Church, are difficult for me to understand, then how much harder are these issues to deal with among newer believers in my generation, just entering life "inside the church", or for those looking from the outside in. Yikes! I'd stay out too!
I don't have a golden solution, but, maybe, just maybe we need to rethink our modern Church structure, the current traditions, and the status quo we have grown accustomed to or have grown up with. Maybe we need to dig into how the Bible laid out the structure of the Church, understanding that the way we do things now may not necessarily be the correct way, but evolved out of comfort and tradition. "They will know we are Christians by our love." Do you feel loved when you walk into those Church doors on Sunday? Honestly, sometimes I do, but most often times I don't. There are many Sundays I go to Church and receive little more than a casual "Hey Jeremy, how are you doing?" (and sometimes not even that), then said individual is off without ever waiting for an honest reply. Now don't get me wrong, that is not always the case, but being honest, it is generally the case.
How about being the solution? Yes, this goes a long way. Be the person to greet someone new (or not new) at the Church! I was once part of a small group in our Church that really took some time to ponder this problem. We even went as far as to make it our mission to, immediately after the service, rush out to meet and talk to at least one new person. You know, new people don't tend to want to stick around long after the service (hmm, topical eh). Here's another idea, how about inviting someone over for lunch after church, maybe even someone you just met last Sunday? Scary huh? Trust me, it is not as scary as it sounds! Do you think Jesus would have rushed out of the church after the service to quickly head home, put his feet up, watch the game, and take a nap?
Could home Churches be the solution? I truly wonder about this one. Small, efficient groups of people that live life together and are intentional about caring for each other. Occupying their street, as it were, and getting to know their neighbors and community. What better way to show "them" we are Christians by our love? I think this is what many find so intriguing about the local Amish community. They work together and worship together, no need unmet. Here is a crazy thought, could this be done, but with the modern convenience of electricity? Why not combine the best of both worlds?
Maybe, for my family personally, we need to find an existing church or be a part of a new church plant located closer to our residence, that would be easier to be more involved in. There seem to be so many routes forward to contemplate and pray for wisdom on. This still doesn't address the above, but maybe it would be easier to be a part of the change.
We wonder why millennials are leaving the church? We question why more college aged people are leaving the church than coming back? We argue about what caused the latest school shooting? As a Christian, we can all agree sin is at the root of the problem. Can we also agree that looking broader, it seems we have a community, or should I say, lack-of-community problem? I read recently about some native Cubans that are fleeing the USA for communist Cuba! One of their reasons... they have freedom here, but no real community. At least in Cuba they have a genuine community to go back to. They value real relationship more than their own freedom!!
As Christians, we have just been pardoned from the ultimate death sentence! It's time to start living already! Truly living! And living alone is not living at all, that is considered "just getting by", "surviving". We need to start living as Christ commanded us to live and as he displayed for us in his own life and in the Church of Acts, an abundant life. We had everything to lose before and now we have been guaranteed forever! My hands bear the same guilt in the forms of selfishness, thoughtlessness, failure to find someone to mentor, and the poor ability to listen well. But, with his grace though, those sins are washed away and I can attempt to turn the page and start fresh again. It seems like right now is the perfect time for some genuine community building. A single cord is easily broken and made ineffective, but a threefold cord is hard to break. Take some time to invite over a new friend, maybe a complete stranger. Find someone to mentor. Build relationships with your neighbors. Be willing to display your weaknesses and allow others to step up and share their strengths. Take some time to call up or message someone you haven't reached out to in a while. Put fakebook aside for a few minutes and actually meet up with someone, in person, for coffee.
Or, at least, that is how it all kind of flowed in my head, on the bike, while on my way to work the other day...
-Jeremy
(Edited on 2018.03.23 to include modifications after peer review, consideration, and prayer)
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We have felt this with past churches many times. Our kids have been bullied by none other than the Pastor's kids. No joke. We left the church nearly 3 years ago and haven't looked back. We meet with several families weekly in a home church setting. We rotate homes each week. We meet and do praise and worship, prayer requests, Bible study (this lasts 2-3 hours and is DEEP and amazing), and then we share a meal together while we fellowship. We usually spend 5-6 hours together. These people are like family to us. We help each other when there is a need. One family butchered a cow and shared some of the meat amongst the family. We share tools, homesteading equipment, labor, etc. I believe this is how the church was meant to be. We have 5 regular families and then 3 families who live a little further away who meet with us once or twice a month (they have other groups they meet with more regularly). It has been life changing for us. :)
It is ironic, it seems like it is always the pastors kids that behave most poorly. I have also noticed that. Your groups sounds very similar to what we have going on! About 2-3 years ago we started a similar group. The funny thing is that a few years earlier, someone approached us with the idea of us starting a group like that and we thought they were crazy. Never! There was no way we were called to be a part of something like that! Then, God had his way with us. We used to call it a "life group" or "small group", but it is really more like a home Church. We rotate houses every week and take turns leading the conversation and discussion. We spend time together outside of group, like last week, a few of us picked up my first tractor and earlier in the week, we tapped maple trees. It truly feels more like how the Church, described in Acts, is supposed to look like. True community, not just a Sunday morning facade.
As I was reading this, I could not help but become excited for you! ‘What, why?!” you ask? This is why. You have a honest, humble, wisdom-seeking heart. This story reminds me of me. Growing up in the church, I asked myself so many questions, and wondered around aimlessly. It wasn’t until a few months ago, that I discussed God’s truth(Pslam 119:142). At first I felt so alone, but then after coming to steemit, I have found a great community here. You and your family are in my prayers. Keep seeking the Father! Ask, and He will provide.
@hebrewhousewife Thank you! I haven't discover that part of steemit yet, mostly keep to the homesteading topics. We also recently said goodbye to Internet at our home (besides the spotty mobile data on our phones), so my online time is very limited (mostly work related). We started a small group a couple of years ago (if 5-6 couples + kids can be considered small?) and I meet weekly with a peer to go over accountability questions (confess your sins, one to another - James 5:15). We also, as a couple, have some future plans for our homestead that are very much related to outreach, fellowship, and mentoring. Please keep those in your prayers, I know He will prepare the way if it is meant to be. I do not want my efforts to be in vain and my energy wasted.