We all know them, those people who we really should get a gift for, but they seem to either already have everything that they need or they seem to hate whatever they get.
A while ago, I met someone on steemit that has been through a lot in his life.
Like, a lot!
It seems that some of the problems from his past continue to plague him even here on steemit, and he's got a lot to deal with anyway, because of what he does for a living. Despite all of this, he still tries to cheer up others and even offered me a potential position if I needed one.
When I saw that other steemians were actually getting gifts for him as well, I thought that if I didn't I might look like a big jerk and wind up having some sort of backlash for it.
@barrydutton sent this message:
Hey there, I found your Christmas gift so you don't force-choke me @lordvader !!
Great, now I've really got to step up my game! @barrydutton goes and gets a ugly sweater with one of his arch-enemies on it for him. Who wouldn't love to target practice with that? The ugly Christmas Sweater would be enough for some great target practice, but when you add the likeness of a life-long enemy... well that's just hard to beat.
Not only did I have the idea to get @lordvader a gift, now I had all this pressure!
So, how could I compete with that? What do you get for a guy with his own empire. I did a little research quickly, and checked the blog history of @lordvader. Mostly, he talks about himself, and most of his images are of himself too!
Narcissism, one of the easiest character traits to shop for.
Quickly, off to the store I went!
Since @lordvader is such an incredible cultural icon around here, finding merchandise with his image and likeness was easy, almost too easy... I thought, look at this, here he is, this will work!
However, upon closer examination, I noticed that the crayons that came with this item were not light-saber compatible. Some other jedi must have already thought about purchasing this item, and liquefied the crayons just by coming near them. Obviously, @lordvader would not be impressed.
However, whatever else I found mostly featured those who were in opposition to our wonderful @lordvader.
Most of the items were not even good to use for target practice, so I was coming up empty...
Hmm... empty?
One sure-fire gift for anyone is food, I mean, we all get hungry! As long as it is not some fruitcake, it should work for almost anyone. However, we are all well aware that @lordvader is not just anyone.
Plus, he's got that mask to deal with. Hmmmm, I wonder if @lordvader has a straw-port in the front of that mask?
Since winter is coming on, and I was looking for something straw-compatible, I figured that soup could be a winner!
Who doesn't love a nice warm bowl of soup in the cold winter evenings? Even @lordvader must need some sort of comfort and warmth in his life. I bet soup would make his Christmas season a little better! Plus it's so nourishing and nutritious!
Knowing full well that any homemade soup would not make the journey out to where @lordvader can be found, especially if I used glass jars, I went to the canned soup section to continue my Christmas quest with renewed vigor and zeal.
As I rounded the corner to the soup aisle, I stopped dead in my tracks, as if I was being force-choked.
There they were, can after can of soup covered in images of @lordvader and storm troopers!
For a moment, I thought that I had aced the challenge of finding the perfect Christmas gift for the galaxy's hardest man to shop for. Then reality set in. I mean the cans of soup looked a lot better than when they were covered in images of chubby children, but why would @lordvader ever stoop to this level.
How could this legendary ruler now become some cheap gimmick to try to sell more soup?
My how the mighty have fallen! It was as if my world had turned upside-down, like when I finally realized what "bringing balance to the force" really meant.
Being too proud to mention anything to the rest of us on steemit, it became obvious to me, @lordvader probably has no more than what is in his steemit account, as far as finances are concerned. Being broke and desperate, and past his physical prime, his options for making a quick buck were probably very limited.
Since a steak-eating model would be impossible for @lordvader to do with his mask, soup must have been his only option.
At least I was correct about that!
So, when someone's life has been a warped series of events that can only be topped by an entire season of The Jerry Springer Show, and when they really have ruined an empire and wound up effectually bankrupt, there only is one option for the best Christmas gift ever.
I know it may not seem that personal, but STEEM wasn't even a gift option last year!
The way that @papa-pepper sees it, STEEM will be the hottest gift out there this year, and I'm going to start the trend by sending some to @lordvader right now. I think it'll be the gift that keeps on giving, and the more of us start using it as Christmas presents this year, the more in demand it'll be.
Remember back when tickle-me-elmo dolls were going for thousands of dollars? source
Will that be STEEM this year?
Honestly, there is only one way to find out. Here we have a chance to make a real difference. Can we pull the hero @lordvader back from the brink of poverty and maybe catapult STEEM into a whole new pay grade? Honestly, if we band together on this one, we can get that poor soul off of the soup can and back where he deserves to be.
Who will help?
Will you also send some STEEM to @lordvader this Christmas?
As always, I'm @papa-pepper, and here's the proof:
proof-there-are-gifts-a-lot-worse-than-steem
#bestgiftever
Except for the lame Christmas gift attempt that @barrydutton got @lordvader:
FOLLOW
Awesome Handcrafted @papa-pepper logo kindly donated by @vlad - Thank you!!
OPERATION TRANSLATION logo provided by @oecp85.
(click link above for more info on Operation Translation)
the poor guy. Stories like this just break my heart.
That's 20 STEEM already for @lordvader!
Soon, he can get off the can!
Do we have another donor out there tonight people?
You are most generous. And you are correct. The Empire is in dire need of funds. There is an exhaust port on the Death Star that desperately needs a cover. I had not realized my boss had licensed my image... again. That guy sucks! You on the other hand... Rock!
Thank you. You are wise to invest in the Empire. Your loyalty will be rewarded.
You're welcome.
Um.... I don't know how to ask this.....
But...
Umm....
Are you my father?
Say this phrase "I was going to Tosche station to pick up some power converters". Was it so whiny that everyone around you wanted to punch you in the face? If the answer is "no" then you are not my son. He's VERY whiny.
Whew!
That's a relief.
I was wondering how it would look if I asked Lea out, and then you drove us to the mall....
That would be kind of awkward.
Don't get too "handsy" I've been know to remove one... or three of those.
Interestingly enough, if you throw a can of Storm Trooper soup at something, it will miss.
You are so right!
Not a good defensive maneuver at all!
Thanks for the warning @gregory-f!
If you throw it right handed... you might have a chance.
https://steemit.com/til/@lordvader/til-why-my-dimwit-stormtroopers-cannot-hit-a-freaking-thing-with-their-blasters
How does "May the soup be with you sound?" strange to me.
It's no good.
@lordvader better get some more steem soon, that's no good!
Please don't suggest that to my boss...
Yes, my lord.
Its Vera's kill jar thats bankrupting the poor guy. I wonder if she accepts steem.
(Ps thank you for the wildcard prize the other day. I just saw it.)
Good insight, and you're welcome!
She does take steem. In fact these two generous donations have allowed me to choke two of my least favorite Earth dwellers.
Star Wars fans no longer hate Disney for buying the franchise out right? Because there is no way there would be the amount of variety in Star Wars merch without that mouse money. Cool post, love the adventure
Don't know, but glad you enjoyed it!
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Thanks!
Your money... bring that to me!
Haha great gift, Great plan as well. I think we can all help out someone this year, as @merej99 posted to help out @klye, I made a post to help out @l0k1, so I guess your right the gift is in giving STEEM this year.
Neat, I missed some of that.
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