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RE: 与strong-willed的儿子们斗，其乐无穷 | 月旦评

in #cn-kids • 6 years ago

His problem is that he would not do his must-do work such as his homework. At school no teach will scold kids for not finishing homework. The only thing the teacher would do is write an Email to tell parents that your kids didn't finish his homework. So what would you do? You have to force him to do homework even they don't like it. I give my kids only the basic requests. I didn't ask them to do more homework and I didn't push them to do more academic study. I just want them finish school work and his piano teacher's assignment. But they always challenge my bottom line. So I think discipline is very necessary. And find a effective way is very important.

6 years ago in #cn-kids by
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     6 years ago  

    You and your family, including your husband, should talk about what the responsibilities of each person/roles are.

    IMHO, Parents' responsibilities are to feed them cloth them, keep them safe and give them a decent education.

    So, nice foods and toys are extra.

    The boys need to do their homework. And mom needs to give them food.

    So, for example, if they do not do their homework, send them to bed with no dinner - you might consider not cooking that night, so, no one is singled out.

    The lesson: mom did not feel like working either.

    Everyone can find what they can in the fridge and perhaps, you can clean it out a bit first, removing the nice leftovers first at least.

    Boys respond, not to yelling, but to "tit for tat" or "countermeasures".

    Tit for tat is a game theory mechanism subject to a payoff matrix similar to that of a prisoner's dilemma. Tit for tat was introduced by Robert Axelrod, who developed a strategy where each participant in an iterated prisoner's dilemma follows a course of action consistent with his opponent's previous turn.
    Tit For Tat - Investopedia

    https://www.investopedia.com/terms/t/tit-for-tat.asp

    Se, for boys that age, everything is a game, so, play their game and learn to beat them in their own games with "tit for tat" and not words.

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       6 years ago (edited) 

      This is something to consider - demonstrating the consequences of "not finishing homework" ...

      Remember the "Midus touch":

      Midas was a legendary king of Phrygia (in modern-day Turkey). In return for a good deed, he was granted one wish by the god Dionysus, and asked for the power to turn everything he touched into gold. ... When "Midas touch" is used today, the moral of this tale of greed is usually ignored.
      Midas Touch | Definition of Midas Touch by Merriam-Webster
      https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/Midas%20touch

      Turn this around:

      Whenever the boy does not do what he is supposed to do, such as finishing his homework, then, make him the exact opposite of Midus - turn everything he touches to "be locked up" or put away - turn on the TV? - no tv that day; play video games? no video games for the day or more; ...

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