ALL RISE! The venerable COINSTRADAMUS is in session!

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Peering into my milky orb, I have seen beyond the shimmering veil and discerned the ripe, future crypto-pluckings dangling like fertile teats on a necessary cow! Behold...

Loose lips on Christmas parties leaked the news to the world that XRP will soon join the fold on Coinbase, yet Coinbase denies – surely a dispute I, COINSTRADAMUS, should be able to resolve. Will they, won’t they, shan’t they? The news sparked a strong week for XRP, and though the DAYTRADERS dumped their stores ere too long, it stands poised to double, quadruple, sextuple should it hit that most user-friendly of exchanges. False, say I! The day shall not come soon that the Ripple crests that shore! (Unless the cheeky ne’er-do-wells at Coinbase decide for XRP after all.)

Before you call out, I have by my VAST POWERS foreseen your words; and yes, this raises some serious crypto-questions. By what agency do I, COINSTRADAMUS, presume to know how BTC might fall and ETH might rise? What shadowy politicks swing the pendulum of circumstance hither or lo? Is it special insight or attunement to the vibrations of Coinage?

To answer this question would be to step on the face of a mad beast. Do not concern thyself with doubts & skepticism, rather: strap yourself in and enjoy the ride!

Yours in FUTURE WEALTH,
COINSTRADAMUS

Disclaimer: all-knowing and wise though COINSTRADAMUS certainly is, he is at once an old, increasingly creased and oft-mistaken dodderer. His CRYPTO-ADVICE should, in all honesty, be taken with the largest grain of salt available in your vicinity and ingested purely for comedy purposes.

COINSTRADAMUS would be ever so pleased if you could UPVOTE this post, so that his bountiful words might droppeth like crypto-manna from the heavens on e’ery STEEMITER’s head.

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Funny! Tell me more coinstradamus!

Verily! I foresee many new foreseeances in the near future!

none shall pass who fail to heed the words of Coinstradamus!

I foresee much flailing about with arms and, indeed, flails - but you sir, will continue the fight, appendage-less or no! Hurrah!