Dec. 31st
Ivan, with particular enthusiasm and excitement, and rushes over to the local physician's office
"Doctor, doctor! I need 10 doses of Viagra, and ten bottles of lubricant!i I'm hosting the biggest swinger orgy party this city has ever seen
Well alright Ivan, you have fun!"
...the following morning
"Doctor, doctor! I need a sling for my wrist and the biggest case of blister ointment you have.
What happened Ivan?
No one came to the party"