I found it funny :)
You explained how egocentric people do act!
... the same thing like - friends call me blah blah... Hmm, really? Good for you :/ We've just met, so we are NOT friends.
Anyhow, I love that way of telling stories, without laughing at your own jokes, letting people decide if you are funny or not.
You have my support to keep up with your stand-up comedy ;)
Good luck!
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I could have been funnier to more people if I inserted a laugh track every 9 seconds, but I agree with you. Thanks.