There are few things more annoying and subtly hurtful than being ignored, but with the full-scale intrusion of social media into all things personal in our lives, the hurt can go so much deeper.
For some reason, there is a growing convention in modern relationships that goes like this: instead of telling someone you don’t want them, it’s easier just to ignore them. It’s horrible when it’s someone you love, but it’s almost just as bad when it’s a friend.
But here’s where things get worse. You’re texting someone and you ask them a question. It could be a simple question or it could be an important conclusion to the arduous task of making plans; but whatever it is, they stop responding. So, while you wait for a response, you click over to one of your other apps (Facebook, Twitter, or the like) and what do you see?!?! A brand new post from the person who’s ghosting you.
Seriously? You’re ghosting me and on the same device you’re posting some bullshit article about cats, or goat yoga or the most recent idiotic thing Trump just said?
The worst part is that you can’t do shit about it. If you comment something sarcastic, you come off as a stalker. If you text them your frustration, you come off as a needy shit. And you can’t bitch about it to your friends because… well, you come off as a whiny bitch.
So, I say, let’s stop this crappy shit. Let’s treat each other better. Respond to text messages. Tell the truth. Dump people you don’t like, and for god sake, if you’re gonna ghost someone, have the decency to wait a bit before you post some stupid ass shit.
Or am I just a whiny, needy, stalker-y shit?
You tell me.
It makes me so furious when this happens. It's like, CAN'T YOU TELL I CAN SEE YOU'RE ONLINE!!!!!
I’ve been saying this for a while now . I’m glad someone agrees with me.
Glad you agree!
Wow, my thoughts exactly! And you placed them in words perfectly.
Thanks!
Thank you! I think WTF can be applied to any kind of ghosting :)
Nope, you arent a whiny, needy, stalker-y shit...
Sometimes we just need to start ignoring people who ignore us ... sometimes it's difficult, but that's the way it should be. We must love and pay attention to who loves us ...
Good advice!
i definitely sense your frusturation as i’m sure everyone has been through this situation. I would say the best thing to do is just let it go. If they don’t want to answer back, then it just shows you the type of individuals they are. So next time don’t even both texting them.
You are right about the situation needing to stop 🛑 👌
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STOPIt seems that one of our most important needs is the need to be acknowledged by others, that is why being ignored is so painful. Detachment in this kind of circumstances can be difficult to reach but posible.
Hello :)
What you wrote is exactly true. I think we shouldn’t worry what others think. You are you and don’t bother chanching for other it isn’t worth it. Be yourself and be the besr version of you! Respect.
I know some people that do this all the time. When you are with them they are on their phone non-stop. Then when you are away from them and texting them you don't hear back for hours. If not the next day entirely. You think to yourself then are on their phone all the freaking time, how can they have not gotten my message? It is crazy and you should feel totally validated. It happens to all of us!
This feels like a modern issue based on instant communication and instant feedback.
There is now the assumption that I need to respond, and respond immediately. This didn't exist with previous communication methods - mail, phone call, email, etc.
Personally i disagree might by my age you know that time before mobiles and social media.
People have become so impatient and unable to conceive of a social world that doesn't resmond to us immediately.