I've got to say, I'm in love with self righteous pricks. Getting on their nerves gives me pleasure beyond comparison.
Nigeria is overstocked with self righteous individuals due to our over indulgence in religious activities. Emphasis on "activities" as most people only partake in them solely as activities to show that they're partaking in them.
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Take the Christian circle I'm unwillingly a part of for example; you'd find churches filled up from Monday to Sunday yet these same people fornicate under the guise of "relationship". Now I'm not one to judge as I do indulge in the forniacatious(new word) myself but at least I stay true to myself and don't pretend like I'm about that Christian Holy life. I'm very open about my beliefs or lack of it, but I digress. The point is, I keep getting judged by people and then when I judge the judge that judged me, they come back with " the race is personal" so don't judge the judger.
I decided to take another route to get at them, since judging won't work out, I decided to be myself or better put, be downright offensive as I air my opinions about shit bluntly during conversations. I get cringes when I make statements like "damn, Jesus would have loved to save that ass", "Jesus didn't die for assholes like you" or "was Jesus good at sports?" Yes, I talk about Jesus a lot and honestly, if Jesus was half human-half god as Christians claim, then I don't see why people get so scared and portray him like one uptight guy that doesn't understand temptation and the awesomeness of Vagina. A famous Comedian said "If God didn't want us to eat pussy, he wouldn't have made it taste so good".
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Oh well, I'm probably going to hell by Christian standards anyways so I'll just migrate to islam, get with Allah, do the prayer thingy and have me 70 virgin hoes in Heaven. Seems like a fucking perfect deal to me or perhaps someday I'd be touched by him
But even if that doesn't happen, at least I have these memes to keep me company
Have a great weekend and I'd also like to nominate @holybranches and @doomsdaychassis because I bet his meme replies will be awesome.
Hey @belemo,
In an effort to try to give people more transparency and feedback on what our judges think of their posts, we thought we'd run an experiment and give people their score from teh judges.
Your post achieved a score of 4/5.
Thanks for the lovely entry to our contest. Now some posts do really well, others not so well, and some could use some improvement. We hope the above feedback is helpful in making you a star.
Hi belemo,
Thank you for your entry in to #comedyopenmic comedy contest. We have asked the judges below to review your entry and give it a funny rating. (They generally have no sense of humor, as the saying goes, those that can't do, start contests and judge).
This will determine your ultimate position when the results are tallied. (That being said, you are free to adopt any position you wish - we can recommend pantsless with beer in hand.)
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