Warning: it's a cocky post
This may be slightly embarrassing but everything for the fame of my cock right? I mean what man doesn't like it when a bunch of women are talking about his cock for days? Usually that's a compliment, right? I will try to emphasize my story with a few drawings. Hope you'll enjoy this one, here we go!
Source
To be clear: this post is not about pussy, don't let the image above fool you..
Morning Wood
Like most men I have a daily returning "problem" called morning wood. For those not knowing the term "Morning Wood" let's check Wikipedia:
Morning wood is one of several similar slang or colloquial terms referring to the phenomenon of nocturnal penile tumescence (erection) during and immediately following sleep.
Ok, now that everybody knows what morning wood is, let's get to the story. I live together with my girlfriend and she is kinda used to me having this "issue" so she is not surprised anymore when it occurs. Me neither, because I really actually don't give a shit what others think/feel about me. I'm me, the whole package and it's up to you to take it or leave it. That simple, but where I don't feel shame, my girlfriend does from time to time. For example, when I go for a smoke on the balcony in my boxers, she is like: "Put a pants on, the neighbours don't need to see that!" and I'm like: "Woman stop complaining, they can just turn their head around!". Let me make it clear, that I don't go out for a smoke having morning wood in my boxers..
We got company for a few days
While my girlfriend is very fond of her privacy, I have no shame like I mentioned above. But to do my girlfriend a favor (and our visitor) I put on some boxers instead of sleeping naked. Because our friend slept on the ground on a mattress. One of the mornings I woke up very cranky, stepped out of bed with my wrong foot I suppose. My girlfriend sat behind the desk to write some stuff on the laptop, and our friend was still lying under her blanket watching tv. I did not mention yet, this friend is a woman... At one point I was standing between the couch and our friend, thinking how on earth I'm going to overcome all these damn obstacles in the room. There were pillows lying on the floor everywhere, and that stupid coffee table was in my way together with the two chairs. Damn it, I could not even open my eyes yet, let alone face all these obstacles without hurting myself. Let me emphasize how it looked from the side:
Our friend tried not to watch
The difference between the drawing and the real situation, is that our friend was lying on a pile of pillows (almost sitting up straight) which made the situation even more awkward for her. My girlfriend saw me standing there and thought our friend did not notice (as she did not respond) so she let it there, hoping that I would be out of the room very quickly so she could forget about this (for her lol) awkward situation. She did not know that our friend actually saw it, but like her felt the tension in the room of me not waking up with the best mood. To be clear, I don't mean sexual tension, lol! That would make this story get a whole different ending (maybe even a happy ending!).
Source
I was not aware of the wooden situation
That night was an awful night, with little sleep, and to me that piece of wood is present every morning, I don't even notice it anymore. So when I was standing there I actually had no clue that those two were doing their absolute best not to laugh really hard. They even waited until the next day to tell me this story, and kept laughing about it for two more days.. Back to the story, I needed to overcome these obstacles, and to me the fastest way to leave the room, was to step over our friend that was still lying there on the floor. Look at the drawing, and keep in mind she was almost sitting up because of the pile of pillows, and let it sink in that poor girl now really did not know where to look :)
She did not mention anything
She turned her head sidewards (remember that I got this information after the event happened) and looked on her phone. Her mouth was trying not to burst in to a hysterical laugh, as she had just almost been slammed by a cock. Now I know many girls don't mind seeing a cock from up close, they might even take advantage of the "situation" by just opening their mouth to taste it, but our friend is into pussies instead of cocks.
At the same time my girlfriend did not want to laugh either, and it took about a microsecond to look at our friends mouth that clearly was showing that she was trying not to laugh, so she turned around to her laptop, and ignored it for the time being. It was not until the next day that my girlfriend suddenly mentioned me almost swaffling our friend the previous day. This image kind of covers my reaction to that:
Source
Now if it would have been our friends mouth like that you can imagine what might have happened. I could have easily tripped because of the wobbly mattress I had to step over, and this poor girl would have been deepthroated while she doesn't even fancy cocks. That would have been traumatizing to her for sure. Lucky for her I didn't trip or fall over. But I still don't understand why they both did not tell me sooner, I mean they were laughing their butts off once the story came out. My girlfriend mainly because of the face she saw desperately trying to avoid bursting in a hysterical laugh, and she thinking oh deer, he has a morning temper so let's ignore it for now. Both deciding without the knowledge of the other that this would not have been the best time to burst into an never ending laugh. (Especially not because they kept laughing for two days after they told me)
You must think I feel so ashamed
Well I don't like I mentioned in the beginning, I really don't give an actual fuck what people think about me, and I still feel like the girl was lucky that I wore boxers that morning, which I normally don't ... And what guy would not be amused if two chicks are talking about his dick for days non-stop ? I mean come one, every guy wants a famous dick! I decided to give it some Steemit fame too, by entering Comedyopenmic. You may not care, but my dick has found peace again by the time I'm writing this post, and he has promised to take it easy while having visitors that sleep over...
Much love - Kymaticus (&Dick)
Now it will be a bit hard to nominate some people here, not everyone may be happy with this NSFW post, and I don't have a big group of followers yet.. So hopefully this post will bring me some Steemit fame, so I can really shine!
I would like to nominate @snowpea as I think she might have humor and @hetty-rowan .. Your posts can be decent, without the NSFW tag ;)
Nothing sexier than a man with a proud cock
Thanks, i agree
Boy, that was a hard story to swallow.
You should know hahahaha
She didn't swallow! She doesn't like cocks!
For lack of a more PC term, it sounds like you almost speared the queer.
For the record, I'm for whatever sexual orientation people want to be, as long as it's consensual.
Haha nice choice of words, that to think about what you meant. @profanereviews By the way im also fine the girl's choice in this case.
Yeah I think it was really hard on the poor visiting girl and your girlfriend .. but let's face the fact. Turns out a good story to give your cock same more fame
Ah.. This is 2018
Can't pass up a good dick post lol. Nicely done.
Thanks.
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Nice ... Thanks!