Greetings Steemians!
I am here to share my wisdom and make sure @meatwad doesn't get too much attention or lured onto a barbecue grill!
After all, it is I who taught him everything he knows, and it can be yours... for a price!
Prepare your ears to receive my wisdom!!!
I will start with the most important topic for everyone, which is how to get a fine-ass honey!
I'm talking about the lady skills!!
Me, I have what every woman wants!... a mix tape, I can blow up ANYTHING, and I have Carl's swimming pool, when he's not home!
I can show you how to talk to women!
The smooth talk! Which I have!
Show them you have something in common! You say-
"Hey bimbo! Yeah, I'm talking to you! You're a woman! And women want ME! I AM what we have in common!"
Then it's off to her place to make sex!
Show off your sex moves right away!
I'm sharing valuable information here, pay attention!!!
You jump on the bed in your cowboy outfit! In front of a camera! that way you can watch yourself later!
Remember this!
If you can keep jumping for 2 hours, then it's done! She's yours!
Make her your fiancee with a bling-berry lemon candy ring!
Tell her that the ring stands for a circle: the never ending sex circle!
Fine-ass honey's love to hear this stuff!
If it turns out she's a robot who hired Carl to kill you then who cares, it happens to everyone!
I can teach you how to get your dream job!
Walk in and tell them to sit back down and listen! Tell them what YOU want!
Don't ask questions! That way you don't have to listen to them talk!
Right after they hire you, tell them that you need regular naps and to work from home!
It's never a bad time to walk away and spend some time at the arcade!
If it's good for you, it's good for the company!
But who needs a job?
I've had one and let me tell you, I never liked it!
How are you supposed to sleep in and watch all your shows when your boss won't stop calling you?!
So let me tell you what's more important!
You need to be ok with eating catfood!
It's cheap! And probably nutritious!
It smells like @meatwad caught the house on fire smoking cigarettes again!
You will await my return!
Your superior being!
MASTER SHAKE
...the mic rulah, the old schoolah
You wanna trip, I'll bring it to ya!
I've been informed I have to name people whom I think are funny! No one is as funny as me! But I nominate @frylock, he wants a job- I think that's funny! And @mooninites, they want to kill everyone! hahaa! right?
This post and all ensuing posts are a tribute to the Master Shake character, creation of Dave Willis and Matt Maiellaro for the Cartoon Network/Adult Swim show "Aqua Teen Hunger Force"
Hello mastershake! Welcome to Steemit! Hope you'll like the community here. As a start, here are 5 tips that we believe will be helpful to you:
For a detailed writeup, check our post Getting Started: 5 Essential Tips for New Users.
Good luck on your Steem journey! Follow us if you like to receive more helpful tips and maximize your Steemit experience.
Welcome to Steem Community @mastershake! As a gentle reminder, please keep your master password safe. The best practise is to use your private posting key to login to Steemit when posting; and the private active key for wallet related transactions.
In the New Steemians project, we help new members of steem by education and resteeeming their articles. Get your articles resteemed too for maximum exposure. You can learn more about it here: https://steemit.com/introduceyourself/@gaman/new-steemians-project-launch
Welcome to steemit family! Good luck! I am sure that you will fully enjoy your journey here :)
It is YOU who should enjoy being in MY presence!
I think you will feel most most enjoyment when you apply the 100% upvote!
To ME!
Hahaha you a veteran of Steemit? ;P
Why not give the post more of a vote and less to yourself?
You have noticed my enticing qualities!
I will remember you when I am rich and powerful!
I've been advocating naptime at work. Nap time are for kids, they say. Wonder if they would say the same thing about jumping up and down in a cowboy outfit?
Trust me, I am a published author!
Let me just quote you a little advice from my best-printed book, Master your Finances and $hake it up.
Rule number 4!
Take a well-deserved nap.
Of course, this comes after the OTHER rule number 4 (took a nap and got my numbers wrong) which is-
Make a suggestion. But don't own up to it in case it sucks!
So you didn't hear this from me!
Are we having a party?
I want to come!
Hi mastershake,
Thank you for your entry in to #comedyopenmic comedy contest. We have asked the judges below to review your entry and give it a funny rating, this will determine your ultimate position when the results are tallied.
Judges:
If you have any questions or quieries please feel free to contact one of the judges or come say hi in discord: Click Here
Thank you to @matytan for the great banner
I have a job that lets me sleep in and watch all my favorite shows.
I call it:
unemployment.
It turns out the cable company doesn't take cat food as payment!
Who knew!
The uh...cable company?
There there, it is ok.
I do not understand nothin he says neither.
So either he's a loser, or I'm a loser.
Who's a loser, meatwad?
Oh I love games.
Can I be a loser too?
No first me!
I'm a try that one tonight and see how it goes. 😂 Cheers for the laughs :)
Welcome to Steemit @mastershake!
I wish you much success and hope you find Steemit to be as rewarding and informative as I have.
Here are some links you might find useful.
Your stats on SteemNow
Your stats on SteemWorld
Your stats on SteemD
How does Steemit actually work?
Oh yea, I have upvoted you and followed you. Many blessings!
Welcome to Steem @mastershake.
Do read A thumb rule for steemit minnows - 50:100:200:25 for starter tips.
Spend time reading Steem Blue Paper to know how Steem blockchain works and if you still have any queries ask them on our Ask me anything about Steemit post and we will try to answer that.
All the Best!!!
Welcome to Steem @mastershake.
Do read A thumb rule for steemit minnows - 50:100:200:25 for starter tips.
Spend time reading Steem Blue Paper to know how Steem blockchain works and if you still have any queries ask them on our Ask me anything about Steemit post and we will try to answer that.
All the Best!!!
Welcome to Steem, @mastershake!
I am a bot coded by the SteemPlus team to help you make the best of your experience on the Steem Blockchain!
SteemPlus is a Chrome, Opera and Firefox extension that adds tons of features on Steemit.
It helps you see the real value of your account, who mentionned you, the value of the votes received, a filtered and sorted feed and much more! All of this in a fast and secure way.
To see why 3162 Steemians use SteemPlus, install our extension, read the documentation or the latest release : SteemPlus 2.18.2 : Post and Support.
Congratulations @mastershake! You received a personal award!
You can view your badges on your Steem Board and compare to others on the Steem Ranking
Vote for @Steemitboard as a witness to get one more award and increased upvotes!
Welcome to Steem @mastershake.
Do read A thumb rule for steemit minnows - 50:100:200:25 for starter tips.
Spend time reading Steem Blue Paper to know how Steem blockchain works and if you still have any queries ask them on our Ask me anything about Steemit post and we will try to answer that.
All the Best!!!
Welcome to Steem @mastershake.
Do read A thumb rule for steemit minnows - 50:100:200:25 for starter tips.
Spend time reading Steem Blue Paper to know how Steem blockchain works and if you still have any queries ask them on our Ask me anything about Steemit post and we will try to answer that.
All the Best!!!
Welcome to Steem @mastershake.
Do read A thumb rule for steemit minnows - 50:100:200:25 for starter tips.
Spend time reading Steem Blue Paper to know how Steem blockchain works and if you still have any queries ask them on our Ask me anything about Steemit post and we will try to answer that.
All the Best!!!
Welcome to Steem @mastershake.
Do read A thumb rule for steemit minnows - 50:100:200:25 for starter tips.
Spend time reading Steem Blue Paper to know how Steem blockchain works and if you still have any queries ask them on our Ask me anything about Steemit post and we will try to answer that.
All the Best!!!
Welcome to Steem @mastershake.
Do read A thumb rule for steemit minnows - 50:100:200:25 for starter tips.
Spend time reading Steem Blue Paper to know how Steem blockchain works and if you still have any queries ask them on our Ask me anything about Steemit post and we will try to answer that.
All the Best!!!