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I like your style! Let's meet halfway and I'll pass the button to you when we get there. I just hope I muster enough fortitude to last that long, and that you'll be there waiting instead of completely ditching.

That's my real problem, I'm good with starting halfway into it but thats only if I'm not aware that's when I'm starting because starting halfway is still starting and starting has been the problem in the first place. Its a viscous cycle, I don't know where to start

In your case, I advise you to start in the middle. Ask no questions, just go where the wind takes you.