The NOT SO Secret Crisis's of Marvel

in #comics7 years ago


Tell me... what do you think of the new "diversity" infused comics of this current era's reboot of comics?
Because I think, they fucking suck... WHAT... you want more of an answer than the "short, sweet, and to the point"... okay... HOWEVER, I am warning you... you are NOT... going to like it!

Nevertheless, think about it everyone... a black Spiderman, Spider Gwen, a female Thor with terminal cancer, a female dead pool , AND America... a time traveling black lesbian superhero from another planet from another dimension... and Est.

For me I think these new comic book heroes from marvel's pseudo-reboot fucking sucks and then some... EXCEPT for the black Spiderman & Spider Gwen... there okay and most defiantly Gwen-pool... because I think she is as funny as Deadpool!

But I am probably getting way ahead of myself here because you probably have no idea what I'm talking about... so here is a history lessen from me to you.

"Cough"... "Comics Are FUCKING Weird"...

For a better understanding of this topic related to comics, I recommend checking out Bob Chipman's video on the topic of timelines in the comic book universes called Secret Crisis (The Big Picture) on the escapist channel, and a link to it will be down below.

HOWEVER, I also like to mention in that video the discussion on the topic is a few years old, and "NOT EVERYTHING" Bob says in the video is as "black & white" as he thinks it is... EVERYTHING in this day & age is more "Fifty shades of grey" than actually "black & white"!

Several years ago before the two Marvels civil war comic series came into existence... that also gave us new superheroes that fucking sucks, before Marvel was taken over by the feminazis and there social justice troll-slaves, AND even before the cultural civil war called "#gamergate" that's been going on for nearly ten years now!

The comic industries will have these... certain events... where they release special comics that will... more or less... reboot certain comic series and/or the universes that the comics exists in... DC Comics "Crisis on infinite earths" and Marvel Comics "Secret Wars/Civil Wars" are perfect examples of this!

The timelines in comics are extremely strange, odd, and weird at the same time and none of the above at the same time as well... but nonetheless it is a much needed "lesser of two evils" to choose from!

Apart from what decade it is, the answer is usually not very much unless the stories say otherwise... NEVERTHELESS, sometimes it does if you want my honest opinion!

Batman stories for an example, usually last a few days but are always "stretched out" to six monthly issues or more...,

NEVERTHELESS when he runs into superman it does not always mean that "superman's" comic are running on the same extremely odd timelines like so much else in American comics, and managing the timelines is based on the mutual "I won't bring it up if you don't bring it up" agreements between the readers and the writers...Which I always considered a lazy as hell "dick move" on the writer's part!

Eventually those same "I won't bring it up if you don't bring it up" agreements between the readers and the writers will always results in contradictions, paradoxes, and long-term temporal issues when it comes to the characters who live active an very complex interconnected lives within those universes, but strangely they aren't really allowed to age piles up, and you have to deal with them via the usually big sweeping and convoluted gestures that also winds up "more or less" fixing the problems that are broken.

In other ways, I.E. if your going to do some spring cleaning you might as well use a vacuum if you're going to move all the furniture's around anyways (and existentially for people like me this is made more complicated because existentially some of us have back problems so we can't move any heavy furniture by ourselves and none of the vacuums we use don't seem to want to work correctly for us and that especially includes me as well)!

For DC Comics its "Crisis on infinite earths" or the "Crisis" series for short, are a succession of crossover events I mentioned about at An early point in this video that aims to simplifies and improves DC comics universe at various points by destroying it in a way that eliminates anything the current editorial boards don't like, and rebuilding it in a way as to preserves and/or revives what the current editorial boards do like... (However, if you want my honest opinion it is NOT always a good thing)!

Usually time itself is not a big problem and/or a factor in these regards, DC's has so many fictional cities, counties, and est. its heroes very rarely get wrapped up in real world problems and the instances when they do well... (which is pretty rare) DC kind of stops talking about it (which I consider a serious copout)!

Marvel... tends to work "very differently"... when the modern Marvel universe began in the 60's the editorial boards mandates wasn't just to maintain it's solid continuity with there other comics but also with the real world, to reference popular culture, tie storylines to real events, and the whole shebang.

Fucking hell everyone the characters even get to age... some of them... kind of... Peter Parker for example went from high school to graduate from college to get married to marry Jane and have a daughter that has spider powers herself... while Tony Stark just kept building new iron-man power armors & EST.

BUT as the years wore on and time stretched to its limits marvel decided to "more or less" quietly adopt a "quote/unquote" sliding scale approach to time... which if you want my opinion it only complicates things like hell for people like me.

But basically from the late 70's onward all Marvel stories are "more or less" presumed to be taking place in the "more or less" immediate present, and everything that happened in all the comics from the first appearances of the fantastic four an onwards still happens... but not over the period of 50 years... instead it's been more like five to ten years within the Marvels universe... "More or less," always a few years, never that long and that is how it has always been "more or less"... but if you want my honest, it also complicates things like hell too!

For a few Examples:

What time is it in the marvel universe? ... "Right now"!

So when did Galactis's daughter Galacta first appear? ... "A few years ago"!

When did the Dark Phoenix Return? ... "A few years ago"!

When did the first Marvel Civil War happen? ... "A few years ago"!

When did the second Marvel Civil War happen? ... "A few years after the first one"!

When did the Hydra's secret empire happen? ... "A few years after the second Marvel Civil War"!

You get the idea right?; all that ever changes are the "era specific details", like how Tony Stark originally got his heart injury in Vietnam and now he got the injury at Afghanistan instead, and we pretend the other stories about previous military conflicts were either within Iraq and/or Afghanistan instead of what they originally were... and I find that to be a total pain in the ass because it makes things harder for people like me to collect & organize those comics that keep rebooting because those comics from previous reboots are becoming increasingly harder to find in!

Now the only exception to all this is Captain America ... and that's because he fought in WW2... that does not need to change because marvel just keeps changing the amount of time he "was frozen" longer and longer!

Now... when "did he" get thawed out? "A few years ago"!

Nevertheless, if you want my honest opinion, it makes things so god-dam harder & convoluted to the point it makes it impossible for people like me to enjoy these series, because captain America is... such an outdated character because of his... outdated mannerisms, his politics, and/or his religious mindsets... because when it comes to him it's "Hard work beats talent because talent doesn't work hard".

HOWEVER... in this day & age of ours "Talent beats hand work because hand work doesn't have any talent"... if you catch my drift!

What it "more or less" means is that Marvel never really needs a crisis-style event/reboot to fix these continuity issues, or as bob chipman would say "it's self-correcting... sort of" and if you want my opinion I disagree with bob chipman here and I think we NEED a reboot for marvel?

Therefore, I am asking the same question just as Bob Chipman did in his video... WHY are they doing it now in this day & age of contradictions, stereotypes, hypocrites, procrastinators, superficial-scumbag-eries, shallowness, and logical & reason/existential paradoxes in such a fucking sloppy haphazard manner?

Well... an overcomplicated part of it is... specifically if you have been following some of the big events in comics for the last 10 years is the "quote-unquote" forced diversity and political correctness in our comics, how bad the quality of the stories and artwork in our comics, AND how dramatic & bad the movies have become in the last four years!

The last time there was an epic shake-up like this it was the "getting-rid-of/intergrading" of the "Ultimate" Marvel universe..., which no longer serves a purpose but to make things easier to digest versions of classic characters for new audiences are now simply known as the movies version of Marvel characters.

To tell you the truth I am not a big fan of the movie versions of the Marvel & DC characters because those movies are becoming too dramatic an soap opera-ish, and if you don't believe me go check out the latest Thor movie it's total shit, AND if you still don't believe me go check out Dishonorable Wolfs review of the movie and a link to it will also be down below!

The only exceptions to all this disaster is the Deadpool and Guardians of the Galaxy movies... if you want my honest opinion!

But look for the aftermaths of the secret wars that involves bringing over and making official the good ultimate universe ideas like Miles Morales, spider Gwen, Gwen pool, Luke Cage, the Punisher, and maybe... um... I think those five are it to my knowledge... AND DON'T even fucking think about adding any Nick Fury's to this list either, the white one is a fucking asshole, his illegitimate black son "who goes by the same name" is a fucking asshole, AND Samuel Leroy Jackson who plays the live action black Nick Fury is an even bigger fucking asshole than these two nick fury's put together... MOREOVER, I fucking HATE S.H.I.E.L.D it is just another way of saying the C.I.A and I fucking hate the C.I.A.!

To me this is probably "one out of way too many" big unspoken questions of why to do reboot-s to bring the marvel universes and the ludicrously profitable marvel cinematic universe into greater alignments, which has not necessarily to make the comics more palatable to any new movie fans.

And I highly doubt anyone in publishing seriously thinks that many people will come out of the avenger's movies (or any other Marvel movies) and will think "wow that was great, you know what we should do now," go to a "very inconveniently" located poorly laid out store, and buy overpriced comics of the much more & overly confusing versions of what we just saw... What do they think we are fucking stupid?

No, I imagine there ideas are to reshape the comics to serve as idea experiments for future movies and/or T.V. shows... which they did by pumping up the importance of the characters like Iron man whose movies I love, or the In-human's whose T.V. series has failed epically, the guardians of the galaxy whose movies I love, but the agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. TV. Series is fucking boring as hell, Netflix version of Iron Fist is fucking horrible, Captain America's movies are okay, The Hulk movies an original live action TV. Series I fucking love, the Netflix version of the Punisher T.V. series as well as all his movies which I fucking love, Netflix version of Luke Cage which I think is slow but okay, Netflix version of "The Defenders" is fucking horrible, and est.

Now... in this current new/reboot of marvel lore while significantly downgrading the universes wide important-s and qualities.

I am really... "Not very sure" what to think of all this epic disaster in the comic industry, I "don't" know if it bothers me in a practical sense or at an existential level?

For me I think the Marvel Universe will end up less & less functional per movie, T.V. series, cartoon, anime, videogame, and especially with its comics... just like what is happening to DC's movies, T.V. series, cartoons, animes, videogames, but strangely not with its comics.

Now you are probably asking me "what's your point" FK and "what am I overlooking"?

MY POINT is that the comic book industries are going threw... "Highly-Unusual" and "Highly-Stupid" Changes... I "don't know" where it started, I "don't know" how it started, and I "don't know" when it started... NEVERTHELESS, the changes "are still" continuing and that resulted in a ton of fucking stupid things "being done" to the comics we love.

For examples:

Removing comics from grocery stores, gas stations, magazine stands, and "Ester a" Then focusing" on selling them more in comic-focused hobby shops!

Allowing no-talent crazy hacks in charge of making comics, that fucking sucks very badly!

In addition to Marvel "as a whole" starting to care less and less about the comics, but more on making money on Movies and TV shows BECAUSE of corporate capitalist-pigs and women like Anita Sarkeesian, Brianna Wu, and Zoe Quinn!

AND NOW in this day & age for the last 8 years, Marvel is now "more focused" on pandering to those "quote-unquote" Social Justice Warrior and feminist..., sadly... a VERY LARGE number of those sjw's are nothing more than fucking trolls and the so called feminists are nothing more than a violent weapon-zed version dubbed "Third wave feminism"... but for many others like me there always going to be fucking feminazis!

Now... who is to blame for this...?

To give you my honest opinion, it is hard to tell, there are WAY TO MANY people, groups, and factions to point out!

NEVERTHELESS, I blame the republican-capitalist pigs (because there are ALWASY republican exploiting controversies like this for money), the stupid tea party-liberals (because there both two sides of the same coin), the religious nuts (because they think comics are gateways to the devil), the fucking feminazis like Anita sarkesian & Zoë Quinn & Brianna Woe (who took advantage of "chinks in the armor" in the entertainment industries for fame an money), AND most of all the social justice trolls who are "the last hair the broke the camels back" and are causing massive damage to the entertainment industries and our culture... it's all there fault for why we are seeing such a massive Social Justice Extremist & feminazis infestation inside of Marvel Comics... it is why Marvel is allowing those fucking stupid "so-called" feminist writing horrible stories and drawing horrible drawings for comics!

HOWEVER, and everyone please "listen" to me please!

A black Spiderman & Spider Gwen, a female dead pool, Ms. Marvel, and est., they sound like good ideas for the "next generations" of comic book readers... HOWEVER, YOU HAVE TO DO IT IN SMALL DOSES/MODERATIONS... over time... NOT ALL AT ONCE like Marvels did to satisfy the "ugly" crazy fuckers who call themselves feminists!

IN ADDITION, it is rather ironic that the Marvel universe was functional in the first place was because of its charm... and NOT because of it's DISPERSITY QUOTAS and POLITICAL CORRECTION PROPAGANDA, DC Comics has made sure to keep "forced diversity" and "political correctness" out of there comics... or at least do it in small moderations to makes there comics fucking awesome... NEVERTHELESS, it is also rather ironic that all the DC movies are fucking horrible, when it comes to Dark Hoarse Comics... FUCKING HELL PEOPLE they practically never reboot there comics AND they never allow JSW's and feminazis in there company... that is why everyone fucking LOVE there comics, and I am saying that because I am a self proclaimed sjw whose pro-#gamergate AND pro-#comicgate!

Will these still be the cases in the unforeseen future for Marvel, DC, and Dark Hoarse... time will tell... well... I try to hope so?

I am FortKavanagh, and this is the honest pictures!

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Okay I noticed I made several mistakes in my video, I'm really sorry for that, I didn't notice them before while making it is because my old junker of a computer is malfunctioning on me... good thing I'm upgrading to a newer computer very soon!