I see him coming down the hall, his head down, eyes scanning the phone that seems to be permanently glued to his hand. I wonder what could be so important that makes the rest of the world dissolve around him. Oblivious to my gaze, he misses the smile and the nod. A friendly “Good morning” rests on my tongue, waiting to leap off as soon as he looks up. We quickly pass by each-other, the air currents swirl between us. “too much cologne” I think to myself as the scent dominates the air. Maybe the cologne is a cover for his insecurities, a scent meant to cover the fear inside him. Days, weeks and months go by, sometimes he stares at the phone, sometimes it’s a blank stare straight ahead, and sometime the floor captures his attention. I wish he were just one data point, an anomaly within the office, but he is the rule, not the exception. Girls, guys older people and young college grads all falling short of the most basic of human interaction: Eye contact.
It’s been said that “the eyes are the window to the soul” and if that is true, then what does it say when someone won’t make eye contact when talking to you? This phenomenon is pervasive in modern society. I work with hundreds of engineers, and the vast majority of them cant hold eye to eye contact for more than a second, if they can even connect at all. This hindrance of communication has always baffled me, because the eyes of a person can tell so much about who they are and what they are thinking. It can often convey more than their words. Communication is more effective when the people participating have a common starting ground.
Person to person and face to face communication has been the primary form of expressing our interest, our hatred, or our confusion toward one another for as long as humans have been humans. In the last decade, cell phones, E-mail and social media have made eye contact and reading body language a lost art. This harms the very fabric of what makes us humans, and what makes us the social creatures we are. We should notice each-other more, and work towards effective communication so we don’t alienate one another in this world. We should start with eye contact, the most basic and maybe the most important form of communication we have.
Have you noticed the lack of eye contact in our species growing in your life? Does where you work and the people around you have an impact on the amount of eye contact you make throughout the day? Do other people get uncomfortable when you make eye contact with them when talking? Let me know in the comments below.
its call being on the autistic spectrum.. nah but seriously..
yeah because we have our own little bubbles these days with the internet and so on, I think people don't even need to make eye contact to get through the day.. its also can be perceived as emasculating to look and smile at another man, so maybe that has somthing to do with it..
Great writing.
I'm positive that a fair number of the people I work with are on the spectrum. It's what makes them great engineers. You are right about not needing the skill of effective person to person communication to get through the day, its a dying skill, like starting a fire from flint or skinning and curing an animal hide.
I also think you might be on to something concerning emasculating men. This will make me sound like my ego could fill an arena, but here I go anyway. I can be an intimidating guy....I'm not huge about 6' 170, but I can be somewhat forward when I speak and I'm overly confidant, almost to a fault. I was never in the military, but you would probably assume immediately that I was. I've considered that I might be the issue of why I fail to make eye contact with people,, because maybe they just don't like the aura I put out.
Thank you very much for the compliment on my writing, I'm new to blogging/writing anywhere other than mandatory papers during school and never thought I would enjoy it as much as I am.
ah bro, you shouldn't be upset at yourself or the person who didn't look. its almost the fault of every person before you that made the world like this baha.
Yeah two people walking past each other in public is a fairly intimidating process, you don't know if the other person will reciprocate, you are filled with primitive brain signals telling you to check if he is going to kill you or offer you a gift for entering your hunting ground.. (we are still cave men aren't we? our brains haven't developed too much over the times).
I agree :)
Not so much lack of eye contact, but lack of socialising. I am always for going into coffee shop after work, to chat about everyday stuff. But people have their schedule...
Great observation @cavemanrob, but then again you are awake. Well written, this reminds me of a story that I hope to post someday.
UV'd and following
SDG