Thank you for stopping by @matrjoschka I feel as though your question speaks to the fact that experience creates perception. Indeed your experience of childhood has left you with a negative perception of the family unit, equally because you lived that experience your perspective is valid. From my perspective, I enjoyed a very good childhood, a childhood that respected and indeed exalted individuality and my right to free expression of said individuality. A childhood that nurtured and grew my consciousness as opposed to one that sought to contain it, direct it and build walls around it.
I don't feel our current problems originate from the construct of the family unit but that they derive from a broken society. A society that looks outwards and not inwards for answers to the problems that we face. Indeed the day we began to externalise our family and community responsibility is for me where our problems began, little Jimmy down the road is messing around so instead of taking responsibility as a parent or a community we'll call the police or social services, let them deal with it because we no longer have the time to look beyond ourselves. Grandma is getting old and we're too busy so lets just put her in an old peoples home. Little Mikey is hyperactive lets put him on Ritalin.
It's the externalisation of our problems that has led to this moment in time, it has destroyed community and drained empathy. We need to learn how to take responsibility for ourselves and everyone around us, organically rebuild our communities from the ground up as opposed to looking to the hierarchical machinations of government to fix our every problem. A broken society creates broken people and broken people create broken families, this goes far deeper than the family unit. Indeed a broken family is simply a mirror image of the society from which it originates. Equally, you mention that the family is a relatively modern construct that may be true .. but then again so is our ability to read and write and so it's age should not preclude it's validity. Indeed a world where men spread their seed with no responsibility is (I believe) a recipe for disaster and a backward step (take a look at the ghetto's of inner-city America). Equally, the ability to mandate birth rates or control population whether it's by a community or government body, again plays into the Stanford prison dynamic .. no collective should herald this power for power corrupts.
I think the state has certainly had a part to play in putting archaic perceptions in the minds of parents "children should be seen at not heard" and the one I've always hated "respect your elders" indeed whether adult or child respect is earned and should never be given .. that is a dangerous concept. Unfortunately, a cursory glance at our world will display that humanity is ripe for these perceptual manipulations. Societal engineers have always hated the concept of the nuclear family and they attempt to subvert it and denigrate it at every possibility, again a cursory glance at the history of totalitarianism will reveal that statement to be veritas. As people awaken to these games the state seeks to gain ever greater influence over the minds of the youth and I feel many of these psychologists are born out of this mindset. I don't hold a great deal of credence with the work of Alice Miller and her nazism analysis, I don't see how being a parent or an adult within a wider community would have negated the Nazi mind control techniques and so either way, the children would have been indoctrinated. Again with a nod to totalitarianism the Hitler youth movement sought to denigrate and fracture the family unit.
Equally, when you look at the gang culture throughout the world it can be directly attributed to a lack of a father figure, a role model. I'm very wary of statements that say over 1 in 3 children are being abused, I don't feel this is reflective and I certainly don't believe 1 in 3 children are being abused at home. I feel a well balanced and well-meaning family unit is the best fit for a child's wellbeing .. as much as children need to be able to express their individuality they must also understand boundaries, morality and to be able to exercise self-constraint and I feel the family unit is the best place to fulfill this ideal. Ultimately I feel this comes down to a perception and as perception is born out of experience I don't feel bad experience is enough to denigrate the entire construct of the nuclear family, we're all individuals and many individuals have nothing but the very best interests of their children at heart. My contention is focused directly at society, our definitions of success, the consumer culture, inverted perceptions of power .. the subliminal messages it whispers into the ears of our youth. Some parents may manifest the problem, but they are not the problem. Thanks again my friend.