Here's what I've worked on for past 2 hours straight, You've been a great inspiration @jerrybanfield for me and thousands of others. Even if i don't win it's been a pleasure working for you.
Here's how it'd look like on your profile. It blends in from the bottom making the text visible and clear, since you're a multi-platform celebrity I thought it's a must to include all the links to your accounts. It is all currently arranged to your current bio but I'll change the dimensions and redo it all if you ever wish to change your bio in future.
And ofcourse here's a clean background that you can use right away.
Please upvote if you find this to be a worthy contender, all the dimensions have been quadrupled for high resolution, so even if you browse on imac 5k resolution it'll still look perfect. Hoping to win this one :) Thanks to anyone and everyone who upvotes. Cheers