it only got a 6, and I would like to do better :) I do use the passive voice at times, and it did find a few adverbs, I use things like "just" and "barely" for emphasis. I am very drawn towards long flowery descriptions, recently of pure carnage, with lots of long complex sentences. I have posted the story I wrote for this yesterday anyway, I am looking forward to the challenge of trying something different.
I am a strong believer in the gun on the wall principle, and I of course, feel the violence is necessary to convey the right vibe, but then others often disagree. (I have been advised to refrain from sharing the an installment in my Ursula story due to excessive violence lol - so I thought I better check if you would prefer not to have so much)
http://harlanellison.com/iwrite/mostimp.htm
part 2 is on violence
I am still worried it is too gory, it isn't the actual violence in this one (so far anyway) more that the descriptions of the aftermath could be too much, I may just end up writing a few stories for you and seeing which one seems like the best fit :)
like u said. gun on the wall. im not scared of gore!