For a long time, I felt I couldn't be happy. I thought I was incapable of being okay. I took care of people around me and made them smile but I was feeding off my pain. I didn't know how to feel anything else and I was so scared to try. I dealt with it, or rather thought I could deal with it by writing sad stories and poems. Then, I saw this quote by rumi:
That was when I realised that I had to leave myself inorder to find myself again. I never told anyone about this, never thought about it until now.
And good news, I haven't had an episode ever since. Hope it stays that way.
I think I just told two secrets ahaha.