Like a blobfish loves darkness - a Steemit poetry competition (SBD prizes!)

foxfiction (52)in #contest • 6 years ago

On the odd occasion when my girlfriend and I completely lose our shit (Monday nights amongst others) we like to engage in a little game of staring soulfully into one and others eyes and making up utterly ridiculous pieces of doggerel about what we find in their murky depths. I can't quite recall how this fine tradition started but have decided it's high time I share it with the inter-webs at large. To that end I present a

Steemit ridiculous love poems competition.

That's right, take your soppiest, most deranged thoughts about love and turn them on their collective ear and write me the wackiest piece of love-themed doggerel you can come up with (prizes ahead!) To get you started, here's a sonnet (ish) piece we composed while dreaming up this competition:

Your eyeballs are like armadillos, little and round,
Do I detect a limpid wetness, as of limpets, in their depths?
Your lips when parted in cacophonous sound
Are like a pelican’s, distended and outrageously wet,

Your laughter is like a kookaburra’s cry,
Emerging outback from the back of your nose,
Your eyelashes flutter at mine, faun-shy,
As our fingers entwine like slick lizard toes,

Now the howlers sing praises at the slope of your bum,
And like ancient redwoods the forest of your thighs,
Peering out from the depths of your bosom there come
your Orang-Utan nipples, like little pink eyes,

Oh my love! Our rare passion is like exploring the zoo!
Like a blob-fish loves darkness, that is how I love you!

The Rules

Now your piece doesn't have to be a sonnet, but for fun, try to keep it rhyming!

Submit your piece as an entry on your blog and post a link in the comments below.

The theme should broadly be love and comparing your loved one to whatever ridiculous shit you fancy.

You do not have to upvote/resteem/link to this piece, but doing so increases the visibility of this contest and would be appreciated.

Prizes

There is a total potential prize pool of 11 SBD for this contest.

Prize allocation will be as follows:
5 SBD for first place
2 for second
1 for third

BONUS: In addition, any pieces written as a collaboration will receive half the prize each along with 0.5 SBD extra for writing it as a collaboration. (So for example first place winners would receive 2.5 + 0.5 SBD EACH or 3 SBD per person).

It does not have to be a collaboration, but please note if it is and post it on each collaborators blog!

That's it! Have at it and have fun. Judging will be conducted after this post pays out.

Now give me your weirdest rhymes!

(Original image from https://www.theinertia.com/environment/crazy-creature-of-the-week-the-blobfish/ and tweaked a bit here for this competition)

#poetry #humor #writing #mspsteem

6 years ago in #contest by foxfiction (52)

$0.66

14 votes

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calluna (63) 6 years ago

So far, I have written you an affectionate but highly insulting poem that I am not sure quite fits the criteria - too much influence from John Cooper Clarke coming through - so I am working on a more loving one lol

$0.03

4 votes

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foxfiction (52) 6 years ago

As long as it's funny it's good to go!

$0.00

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calluna (63) 6 years ago

I will see if I can come up with something more entertaining and nice in the next couple of days but if not, I will post this one about a friend :)

$0.03

4 votes

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tygertyger (69) 6 years ago

let's do a collab Cal hit me up on discord

$0.00

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calluna (63) 6 years ago

See you there ;)

$0.05

3 votes

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stitchybitch (61) 6 years ago

Okay, so I am totally in love with you guys, first off.
Secondly, this is freakin' hilarious and I think I may just have to do my weird warm up and create something that might make you guys fucking fall out, and simultaneously, horrify @sammosk.
Bless this wholesome content.