Or, alternatively:
NOTICE TO CHATTER: The Federal Bureau of Investigation has logged a record of this chat along with the IP addresses of the participants due to potential violations of U.S. law. VIOLATION: Spamming unrelated or uninformed comments. IMPORTANT WARNING: If you think this chat session was logged in error, please state your reasons to the F.B.I. agent currently monitoring this chat and quote the reference number #2334531343. Failure to do so within the next 2 minutes will result in your IP and address being entered into our criminal data base and legal action.
That's why spammers always use public internet instead of their own.
Wait "2 Minutes?!" That's just unfair.
Can't stop Loling
It's gold if you can find someone naive enough to both believe and deserve it.