When you meet me it appears that I have at least a few friends but the truth is I feel like I don't. I'm always the happy person reaching out to other people and I am tired of it. None of my friends really give a shit about me we just exchange trite platitudes. Weeks go by and no one reaches out if I don't. I'm also tired of the surface relationships I have. I wish I knew someone who I could just put down my facade with and just say I'm really not happy right now. It's a very hard time for me. I just wish I had some real friends. I don't do weird shit, I don't do drugs, I'm not judgmental, I'm kind...idk...I know the world doesn't owe me a damn thing and I'm grateful to even be able to be in good enough health to even wish I had friends. I have had some health issues that caused me to isolate for a large part of my young adult life. I need new friends but when you're 27 and in grad school it can be difficult. I AM NOT SUICIDAL but I completely understand how people can kill themselves and all of their friends/family feel like they didn't see it coming. People get so caught up in living their own lives that they often can't see whats actually going on with others. The point is if you're reading this you should reach out to your friends and really ask them how they're doing. You really never know even the one's who always seem super happy and positive. I know my "friends" aren't on here so it's not about me it's just about possibly helping someone else who could feel like me but maybe they actually are suicidal.
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